Do you like Birthday Weekend Recaps?

Oh, good.  Here goes.

I personally believe birthday days should be more like birthday months.  We have a friend we met in Lincoln who lived by this philosophy.  She could celebrate like nobody’s business.  She even titled the prayer you pray before your birthday meal The Birthday Prayer.  (That means whoever is praying tells God they are thankful that the birthday person was born.)

So I didn’t get away with birthday month, but it was birthday week!  Mostly because I have such rockstar people in my life.

Monday my guys took me to Red Lobster.  We always go there in September “for my birthday” and partake of Never Ending Shrimp.  Nothing says I’m Glad You Were Born like unlimited shrimp scampi.  My oldest loves this more than I can communicate.

Tuesday a sweet friend came for dinner and we chatted and laughed and encouraged and bragged on God.  I like her.

Wednesday is small group night.  My wonderful friend made me a homemade angel food cake with homemade fluffy pink frosting.  That might be my favorite cake from my childhood.  (I have some former teammates who know this to be true. They also busted out a made from scratch version of this overseas…along with roast beef salad, baby.  Which a particular man on our team thought to be a frivolous waste of perfectly good roast.  I beg to differ.)  People are so good at loving others.  I want to learn from them.

Isn’t she a Beaut?

Thursday night was my last water class at night.  I’m so sad because I love that group.  But I will see them on Saturdays now and then.  Anyway, to celebrate 5 great years of aqua skiing, we went to P.F. Chang’s for dinner.  We toasted to good times and to plotting dinner while working up a sweat.  (It never failed that we would talk about food at a 6:00 water class.  Most of them would get off work and come straight to work out.  Rarely did any of us think ahead to use a crock pot.  So we would – hungrily – discuss things like Chicken Picata and Ham and Beans.  Deep stuff, friends.)

Friday night something happened.  Oh!  A friend in Asia (!) phone Skyped me for my birthday. What?  How did people get so thoughtful?  Also a super encouraging friend came for a late dinner and we sat on the patio and drank decaf and plotted to take over the world.

Saturday we were tired.  But my man took us to the Farmer’s Market where we experienced the gloriousness that is local wildflower honey.  I recommend.  Also, jalapeno jelly.  Be still my heart.

Who doesn’t love clowns?  My boys.  Actually they’re getting better.  But they can take em or leave em.

I got to celebrate a fun couple at their shower, we did errands and cleaned.  I was doing something in the back room when suddenly Caden goes, “[Your friend] is here.”

I jumped up and ran to the living room and a sweet, sweet friend from out of town had stopped by to say Happy Bday!  We hugged and caught up a tiny bit.

Then we were going to go to the Chili Fest downtown but it was already over.  I’m not gonna lie.  I cried.  Like hard.  I think there might’ve been more behind those tears than a missed chili meal.  But I like when cries sneak up on you like that.  Anyway, then I got on Facebook and saw people – some I haven’t seen in years – wishing me a happy birthday.  And I cried again.  People are awesome.  I’m so honored to have had so many amazing people touch my life.

Sunday = church, spontaneous taco meal with cool people, hanging with friends/neighbors who seem to just expect us to show up around 5:00 on Sundays because our boys want to play, and bedtime by 8:30.  No, I am not kidding.

Source

I’m so grateful to a God who doesn’t just love us; He loves us lavishly.  Hope you had a great weekend!

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/194/

Today I am 35 years old.

Whaaaa?

Inspired by this post, I want to share 35 things I’ve learned in 35 years.

(I’m going to try to only include things that I have learned experientially to be true.)

1.  It really is true that what you repeatedly do is what you become.  I don’t like that fact, but I cannot refute it.

2.  Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

3.  Humility is tricky.  Lots of smart people say it is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.  Combining that with a tough, internal look is hard to reconcile.  Only in a deep awareness that our life is in Jesus does any of that make any sense to me.

4.  If you’re going to err, err on the side of trust, kindness, generosity and gentleness.

5.  Head-level knowledge puffs up; Heart-level wisdom builds up (to borrow from Paul)

6.  Insecurity fuels a lot of yucky behavior.  Especially in myself.

7.  Even as He has been cultivating the more introverted, serious side of me, this still rings very true.

8.  Snuggling with my boys in the morning is still one of my favorite things.

9.  It is okay to fiercely love your children and have your own life.  In fact, it is healthy for their little psyches.

10.  Some things are black and white.  Most things aren’t.

11.  “Grace doesn’t seem fair until you need some.”  Bob Goff.

12.  When you teach a Fall Avoidance class, and you ask the participants what they think the current activity is helping them practice, their answer will always be, “Balance.”  Kinda like kids in Sunday School.  The answer is always, “Jesus.”

13.  The answer really is always Jesus.

14.  He is more intimate, powerful, trustworthy and kind than I could have ever imagined.

15.  I wish everyone could have seen my husband’s face last week when we were working through an argument.  I had (once again) overbooked us.  No biggie for me, but it added extra work for him.  I asked him to cut the (still-frozen-ish) cheesecake because he is stronger than me.  He did, but reluctantly.  So I bristled and fussed back.  Working through it the next day I asked him why he helps me in those situations instead of telling me no.  He goes, “Because you asked me to.”  I said, “But I don’t get it.  Why?”  He emphatically replied, “Because you asked me to.  If you ask me to do something for you, I will die to get it done.”  What?  What kind of love is that?  Second only to my Rock, he is my rock.

16.  God will not let you get away with letting your spouse be your capital “R” Rock.

17.  This isn’t heaven.  Yet.  But we get glimpses here and now.

18.  We need each other.

19.  Taking time to be creative is important as image bearers of a Creative God.

20.  Although I hate it, what you eat affects how you feel.

21.  Fertility issues and miscarriages are heart-wrenching.  It is a great lesson in Who is in control, but your soul will be marked forever.  When He walks with you in times like those, You know He is Jehovah-Rapha, our Healer.

22.  When someone shares their deep wounds, usually the best response is, “I’m so sorry.”

23.  When someone screws up and shares it with you, usually the best response is, “Me too.”

24. God is light; In Him there is no darkness at all.  He is completely trustworthy.

25.  Principles are good; love is better

26.  Listening is so so so much more important than talking.

27. The best talks with young boys will come in the car when the radio is turned off.

28.  Loving someone the way you want to be loved is pointless.  Love them the way they want to be loved.

29.  My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from Him; He alone is my Rock and my Salvation; He is my Fortress, I will never be shaken.

30.  Every parent is different and every child is different.  God knows what He’s doing when He puts families together.

31.  Don’t just believe in God.  Believe God.  (And believing God is Who He says He is is way easier for me than believing God for who He says I am.)

32.  Self-protection is sin.

33.  Joy and suffering are very intertwined.

34.  Even if it seems like a good idea, do not use the self check-out.

35.  Seek justice.  Love mercy.  Walk humbly.

Here’s to obediently trusting God with however many more hours or days or years He gives me!

What have you learned?

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/197/

Okay, Inside Out, you don’t have to stare me down.

But, seriously, it would be easier to hide behind Hosea.

Here we go…

“Nothing matters more for the Christian than walking the path that leads to knowing God.  Knowing God changes us into richer, stronger, more loving Christians who know what it means to deeply enjoy and to powerfully love others…

The Holy Spirit has demonstrated His ability to penetrate my soul with ruthless exposure of all that I am and then to comfort or encourage, convict or prod.  I know what it is to catch a glimpse of the reality of God that overwhelms me with His majesty, His holiness, and His love…

Several friends have deeply encouraged me with their integrity.  I sense the reality of God when I’m with them.  When they speak, the words come from deep parts of their souls.  Their love is unfeigned – not perfect, but sincere…

If you’re a Christian eager to walk [the path of knowing God], then recognize you must make a choice to live life honestly.

Nothing will bring you pain more than that one decision.

Because we intuitively sense that life in a fallen world is not what we want it to be, the choice to enter into its reality as fully as possible seems foolish.  Better to keep our distance from life’s disturbing elements.

But God has not kept His distance.

If we desire to meet Him and to taste His loving power, we must open our eyes to whatever is true, however unsettling it may be.

And it will be unsettling.

An honest look at life will produce confusion about what we see in our world and in ourself.  It will cause disappointment in others, often at critical moments when a sensitive response would mean so much.  And it will provoke conviction over the inevitable ways we violate the command to love.

If something is from God, it will inevitably promote the character of Christ in those who embrace it…

Disappointment can drive us to hope.  If we remain aware of all our heart longs for, even when we’re badly hurt, then the prospect of one day being with Christ can become an alluring passion, a solid anchor that keeps us steady in the worst storms of rejection.  A hope that keeps us going when we feel most alone will take over the central place in our affections.

Conviction over lack of love can run deep.  If we limit our awareness of sin to such things as obvious moral failure and undisciplined living, we tend to become a rigidly good person whose best relationships remain stiff.  We will not learn to love.  But when we become sensitive to the subtle violations of love involved in our self-protective style of relating, we’ll feel overwhelmed with personal sinfulness…

When we face our sinfulness, its sheer ugliness can drive us to profound repentance that opens up a new dimension of love.  The love that grows out of deep repentance over self-protective sin is penetrating and rich…

The path to maturity requires a commitment to replace false certainty, pretend satisfaction, and smug spirituality with disturbing levels of confusion, disappointment, and conviction, which in turn create the opportunity to develop faith, hope, and love…

Read your Bible, pray, worship, develop rich community with others who are committed to honest living.  When the pain of life overwhelms you, you’ll need to know the truth of God, you’ll need to be open to the Spirit of God, and you’ll need the probing support of the family of God.

All three are needed to grow in faith, hope, and love.

There is a path to change from the inside out.  Don’t give up!”

Inside Out, pgs. 219-223

Well, that certainly wasn’t a light read.

Here are beautiful wildflowers, courtesy of my Dad, to help us press on.

I talked to a friend the other day about this.

So I see all these self-protective strategies.  Now what?

Yes, now what.

If we were already formed into who He wants us to be, there would be little reason to still be here on this earth.  Or at least we could spend our entire time helping others and ignoring our own hearts.  But there is a reason we’re here.  There is much Kingdom Work to do.  And a lot of that work will happen inside us.

There is a surprising amount of doer in me.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am also very good at sitting.

But what I mean is sometimes it’s easier to just get on with the task.  Just do.  Shut down my feelings, close off my sensitivity, produce.  Our culture trains that into us quite young.

However, it seems that the great devotional masters know that the internal work of simplicity is crucial for any of the external to matter.

Or, as Jesus said, apart from Me you can do nothing.

The Spirit of God, the Word of God, the People of God.  We need them all.

Since the whole self-protective thing keeps resonating, I thought I’d throw out a few more examples (both from this book, other books, and my own life).

Before you read we need to reach an understanding: We both (me and you reading this) promise to not retreat emotionally as we read these things.  Second, we both promise to remember I am not writing these to any specific person who may read this.  And third, as we read we will remember that not all relationships are safe and protecting our hearts with good boundaries is often the most loving thing we can do.

Deal?

Deal.

{Firm hand shake}

Okay, see if you recognize the subtle sin of lack of love in any of the following:

Apologizing profusely or too often (actually a demand that others are pleased with you and approve of all you do)

Saying “that’s okay” to something that really hurt you

Ignoring the subtle hints of pain you see in others

Only offering solutions to others instead of deeply entering their life

Venting about how someone hurt you but never honestly facing up to it with them

Rationalizing deep hurt with something like “I’m sure I deserve it” or “I know I should forgive and shouldn’t be this hurt” instead of engaging the pain and the relationship

Not speaking up when others hurt you or hurt someone you love

Being efficient and busy but not emotionally available

Refusing the godly humility that forces you to “impose” on others: with your needs, heart, hurts

Never letting others see you cry or in pain

Not letting others cry or be in pain (a way to demand that life is always okay or upbeat when it is not)

Constantly being suspicious of others’ motives

Defensive when others lovingly confront your sin

Confronting others’ sin more often than connecting with them lovingly

Always wanting to lead; never willing to follow

Always wanting to follow; never willing to step up and lovingly lead

Refusing to take genuine compliments

Offering flattery versus sincere compliments

Withholding compliments

Withdrawing instead of engaging

Laughing off anything too serious rather than deal

Hide behind any internal or external pain – rather than walk through it to heal

Having many acquaintances but no deep friendships

Subtly or not-so-subtly demanding others love you

Becoming too dependent on someone else instead of being a separate, adult individual

Allowing or looking for others who depend on you in an unhealthy way so you feel needed

Seeking attention or control or approval or sensitivity to your feelings instead of loving sacrifice and involvement with the other person

Sabotaging good relationships because of personal shame or fear

Hiding behind gifts, talents or skills instead of showing a safe handful of trustworthy people all of you

Hiding behind sin, shame and fear instead of showing a safe handful of trustworthy people all of you

Dealing only with your own and others’ behavior instead of your heart and theirs

Talking too much to avoid intimacy

Pushing others away when they get too close or touch that broken part of your heart

Not maintaining healthy, appropriate boundaries because of fear of loss of relationship

Using charm instead of integrity to draw others into your life

Seeing yourself only as a victim rather than both a legitimate victim and a legitimate agent of harm in a fallen world

Seeing yourself only as an agent of harm rather than both a legitimate agent and a legitimate victim in a fallen world

Please don’t be flooded emotionally!  That was a lot.  But I want to bring it up since we don’t often talk about how these things can violate the Law of Love.

Sometimes awareness is the first step.

In order to have integrity, I will share the ones I’m most convicted about:

Apologizing when I want reassurance that others approve of me or my actions

Defensive when others confront my sin

Withdrawing instead of engaging – then attacking when it builds up

Being suspicious of others instead of believing all things like agape love does (1Cor13)

Hiding behind both gifts and sins instead of just being who He wants me to be

The book points out that until we are aware of how deep our thirst is, we will never realize the broken cisterns we try to dig on our own.

But if we are aware of our thirst, we need to point out to each other which of these cisterns will never give us the water we crave.

This is too difficult to face on our own.

But with safe community?  With His Word and Spirit to guide us?

Father, have your way with us.

We are profoundly grateful You haven’t kept your distance.

His love is like a waterfall for our thirsty souls

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/198/

Some fun stuff…

The other day Caleb ran into his preschool classroom and announced/sang,

“I’m heeeeere!”

And he’s my shy(er) one.

With our friend Simon

And this morning in Fall Avoidance my Marge teased me about having too much fun with something.  After a few seconds she goes,

“I hope you didn’t take that as a slam.”

What else could I say to my 87-year-old student?

“No, I didn’t take it as a slam, yo.”

And, finally, look what my thoughtful, sweet friend got me:

Photo courtesy of Caleb…not bad, eh?

The quote is from a long-time outreach ministry Jesus Said Love.

“The Kingdom smells like cigarettes and perfume.”

I can’t wait to explain it to my seniors!

Can you tell we recently got new family pics?  Source

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/199/

Okay, friends.  Here comes the next section.  Our God is worthy.

Hosea 1:10&11:

“Yet the Israelites will be like the sand on the seashore, which cannot be measured or counted.  In the place where it was said to them,

‘You are not my people,’

They will be called ‘sons of the living God.’

The people of Judah and the people of Israel will be reunited, and they will appoint one leader and will come up out of the land, for great will be the day of Jezreel.”

Oh…so…much!

First.  “Yet.”

The punishment?  The chastisement?  It is only for a limited time.  God is always faithful to His covenant.

Maybe you’ve heard this verse before, but memorize it.  And then cling to it when doubts and failure plague you:

“If we are faithless,

He will remain faithful,

For He cannot disown Himself.”

2 Timothy 2:13

NLT says “He cannot deny who He is.”

He really is Love.  He really is faithfulness.  He really is Mercy.

His agape love really is patient, kind, humble and not easily angered.  It really does always protect, trust, hope and persevere.

His love will never fail us.

Never.

If we have trusted that Jesus dying on the cross wasn’t just some historical event but an absolute necessity for us to have any ability to stand before a holy and righteous God…if we’ve accepted that personally for every mistake we’ve ever made and have committed to live for Him…He is in us.

And that kind of Love, that unbreakable Seal (Eph 1:13) isn’t based on our performance.  It doesn’t betray.  It is always for us.  It never gets bored with us.  We can’t out-sin it.  It just is perfection.

What part of that Truth is the hardest for your heart to believe?

“Yet the Israelites will be like the sand on the seashore, which cannot be measured or counted.”

Does that sound familiar to you?

Hosea’s audience would know exactly what this refers to: The Promise of Abraham.

Genesis 22:17 “I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore.”

Source

A promise is only as good as the character of the One Who makes it.  In His case, it is spotless.

What promises He has made in His flawless Word do you have the hardest time believing?

“In the place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’ they will be called ‘sons of the living God.'”

In the place…

Do you have a particular place where you were chastised?  Maybe a certain relationship where you really blew it?  Or a public failure where you still feel the sting of shame?  Perhaps an emotional place where the enemy has mercilessly hit you over and over?

Did you know that in that place, He wants to redeem you?

Maybe He will restore your reputation – not based on your works but your cooperation with His.

I wonder if the Holy Spirit wants to lubricate a tense relationship – to show that only in Him are we able to forgive seventy times seven.

Perhaps He wants to sing over you in front of those who hurt you – so they will fear Him.

It is most certainly His desire to give you victory in that emotional area where the enemy has a stronghold.  (Gal 5:1)

What area is tender right now to the Spirit’s work?  Will you cooperate?

For Hosea the man, this promise was a name reversal:  The curse of his third child’s name Not My People will be turned into a blessing: Sons of the Living God.

What do you think that meant to him?  Do you think it mattered?  Do you think it was more than a future prophecy for the people of Israel – but one that was fulfilled in Hosea’s lifetime for his son?

The name reversal is not all it meant for the Israelites.  In the final verse we learn:

“The people of Judah and the people of Israel will be reunited, and they will appoint one leader (literally ‘one head’) and will come up out of the land for great will be the day of Jezreel.”

One Day Israel and Judah would become one nation again.  In that day the divided kingdom shall no longer exist.  They will be one people under one Leader.  The Davidic covenant will be fulfilled in the Lion of the Tribe of Judah.

And did you recognize where?  “Great will be the day of Jezreel.”

Remember Jezreel is a place.  But do you remember what Jezreel means?

God will sow/scatter.

Finally, in this context, it is a blessing.

This time God is referring to sowing.  He is now reversing the curse of Hosea’s first child’s name!

When Hosea named him, Jezreel meant scatter – the Israelites would be chastised by being scattered as exiles among the nations.  But at the right time, He will sow new life in a restored land of Israel.

For great will be the day of Jezreel.

The Apostle Paul understood the messianic prophecy of this passage.  He quotes it in Romans 9:22-29:

“What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath – prepared for destruction?

What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory – even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles?

As he says in Hosea:

‘I will call them ‘my people’ who are not my people;

And I will call her ‘my loved one’ who is not my loved one.'”

Paul, ever one to remind his fellow Jews that the Messiah was for all peoples (ta ethne), used this Hosea prophecy to emphasize that Gentiles would also enjoy the blessings of covenant relationship with the one Christ.

His Word is a Masterpiece.  I hope every time you study it, it makes you love Him more.

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/201/

More Hosea…

We are still in Chapter 1, venturing into verses 8 & 9.

“After Gomer had weaned Not Loved, she again became pregnant and gave birth to a second son.

And the LORD said,

‘Name him Lo-Ammi – ‘Not My People’ – for Israel is not my people, and I am not their God.”

This one makes me shiver.  To hear Covenant Yahweh declare to His chosen people they are no longer His people is devastating.  This generation would be sent into captivity and chastised because of their disobedience.  Only then could a repentant people once again enjoy the benefits of covenant relation with God.

Do you ever think about things like this being unfair?  Like, say, they didn’t know any better?  Or, they are only human and of course they make mistakes?

One of my favorite things about God is He is Perfectly Just.  Even when it isn’t obvious to us in a certain passage in the Holy Scriptures or a specific situation in life, He knows absolutely everything involved: everyone’s motives, heart conditions, actions.  He is, as Psalm 116:5 says, gracious and righteous.

Honestly, we wouldn’t want to serve any other kind of God.  One we could walk all over?  Nah.  One Whose Throne we couldn’t approach boldly to find mercy in our time of need?  No thanks.  I don’t have a good enough track record for that kind of god.

But One who is perfectly gracious and perfectly righteous?

I want to, as we sang on Sunday, fall at His feet.

But if you want a little Scriptural incentive, as a Good Parent He had already outlined consequences to His Children:

“But if you will not listen to me and carry out all these commands…and so violate my covenant, then I will do this to you:

…I will set my face against you so that you will be defeated by your enemies; those who hate you will rule over you…

If in spite of these things you do not accept my correction…I will bring the sword upon you to avenge the breaking of the covenant…

If you still do not listen to me…I will destroy your high places, cut down your incense altars…

I will scatter you among the nations..”

(Leviticus 26:14a, 17, 23, 27, 30, 33 a)

And so it happened.  2 Kings 17:7-23 records it.  Here are some snippets:

“All this took place because the Israelites had sinned against the LORD their God…

The Israelites secretly did things against the LORD their God that were not right.  From watchtower to fortified city they built themselves high places in all their towns…

They did wicked things that provoked the LORD to anger…

They followed worthless idols…They imitated the nations around them…

They forsook all the commands of the LORD…

Therefore the LORD rejected all the people of Israel…the LORD removed them from His presence, as he had warned them…

So the people of Israel were taken from their homeland into exile in Assyria…”

So heavy.

If you read ahead in Leviticus 26, the next section starts with “But…”

If we continued in Hosea, the next verse starts with, “Yet…”

Oh, thank You Jesus, that because of You we have a Yet.  This is not the end of the Story!

But that’s for next time.  For today, can we stay in the devastation?

Sometimes I think in our self-focused culture we can easily forget He is holy.  Our pastor said on Sunday we can sometimes start to think of ourselves as His peer.

He is God.  We are humans.

He is the Potter.  We are the clay.

He is the Shepherd.  We are the sheep.

Praise Him, yes, He is the Father and we are His children.

He is the Groom and we are His beloved Bride.

Intimacy grows in our covenant relationship with Him.  But He is and always will be so very holy.

I truly want deep conviction, godly sorrow for the things in my life that break His heart.

How often do you think of Him as holy?

What are some ways He has shown Himself as Completely Other?  Perfectly Pure?  Absolutely Righteous?

Do some of those things make you even more grateful that He’s Incarnational?  Was tempted in every way just as we are?  Is remarkably gracious?

He is so Wonderful.

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/202/