So.  In the past week I have lost not only my patient husband’s iPod (ack), but the makeup bag that goes in my purse.  You know, the makeup bag that holds the things I put on while stopped at stoplights.  The important stuff.

I love when I do this.

We had a lovely weekend.  Saturday we got some stuff done around the house and I got to hang with a friend.  Then we hit Sam’s for our monthly trip and dinner out as a family. Sunday we had one of those glorious afternoons at home together, complete with a fire in the fireplace.

I stole an idea from a friend to let the boys go to town on a blank canvas, letting each color dry in between.  It needs some reds, yes?

Been doing quite a bit of Shel recently.  Some weird stuff.  I like it.

And just so I make sure not to only include happy, sweet things…the pile of laundry the boys and I need to go through tonight:

I’ve been overwhelmed lately by 1 Corinthians 13 in the Message.  I posted it yesterday, and the whole thing is intimidating.  What does it look like to love others in a way that isn’t always “Me first” or “Doesn’t fly off the handle”?  (Two of my hardest ones.)

 

The answer for me always comes back to prayer.  When I’m getting self-absorbed?  Pray for other people.  When I don’t know what to do and am choosing to worry?  Pray and give it to the One Who can actually take care of it.  When I’m about to lose my patience? Breathe Him in.  And consciously remember it’s His agape love in me and through me that matters most.

 

What are your best “love well” tips?

 

I really want to know.

 

 

I’ve been trying to figure out some things lately about my youngest.

 

What does it look like to love him well?

 

After my class today at the Y, he melted down.  We talked through a few things like getting a snack at home and water in the car.

 

Didn’t seem to help much.

 

So finally I did the walk-away trick a la Kevin Leman.

 

You know, the whole smile at everyone staring and keep moving forward.

 

Fortunately it worked.  (There’s nothing worse than publicly losing a stand-off with a preschooler.)

 

He came running after me and reached up.

 

I gladly scooped him up and held him as we walked to the car.  I asked him if he was okay and if anything happened.

 

No, nothing.

 

On the drive home he said, “A boy said shut up to another boy.  And that’s a bad word.”

 

Oh.

 

“Did that hurt your feelings?”

 

“No, but that’s a bad word.”

 

I’m always surprised what will affect my boys.  The last thing I feel led to do is completely shield them from things.  So we talked.  We played a board game this afternoon.  We will pray and discuss what to do with BIG feelings and the things we can and cannot control (like, anything anyone else does).

 

In the meantime, I’ll be looking into my own heart.  Like how I often quip shut up to my friends in fun.  Or how I’ll take out frustration on others (my way to throw a fit) versus talking through how I’m feeling with Him and safe people.

 

Raising kids more often than not means raising myself.

 

And while I cannot do it without His help and community, I am satisfied knowing He will help us one day at a time in this journey.

 

 

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/1576/

Love never dies.

I’ve been thinking about yesterday’s post.  And I want to make sure and say a few things.

 

If it came across as a plea for anyone to say nice words to me, I would be mortified.

 

My point is He does those things for us.  He meets our deepest wounds and emotional needs.  So we can turn around and offer honest community to each other.  I have had those honest conversations with those I dearly love.  Those beautiful, healing conversations prepared me for others I would have.  They taught me more than I could ever say and I will always be grateful.

 

The other day I read Mark 14 verse 36:

 

“Abba, Father…everything is possible for you.  Take this cup from me.  Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

 

A few weeks ago a friend was honest about this verse.  She said she wasn’t sure if she genuinely could say, “This is what I want” and “Not my will, but Yours” in the same sentence.

 

I’m not a psychologist or theologian, but it seems like we can’t get to “Not what I will, but what you will” until we’ve honestly come before Him with “This is what I want.”

 

Abba, take this cup from me.

 

I’m grateful Jesus let us in on this aspect of His relationship with His Father.  Before the foundation of the world, they both knew He would come to die.  Yet in the moments before His death, He honestly asked for the cup to be taken.

 

Unless we intentionally walk through that valley with Him – instead of check out or sweep our pain under the rug or just move on to the next thing – it is possible it’s just lip service.

 

Not my will but Yours only comes after Daddy, take this cup from me.

 

 

Come, let us return to the LORD.

He has torn us to pieces

But He will heal us;

He has injured us

But He will bind up our wounds.

 

After two days He will revive us;

On the third day He will restore us,

That we may live in His presence.

 

Let us acknowledge the LORD;

Let us press on to acknowledge Him.

 

As surely as the sun rises,

He will appear;

He will come to us like the winter rains,

Like the spring rains that water the earth.

 

If you only knew what these verses mean to me.  When we were overseas, we celebrated our first Easter with our teammates in the mountains.

 

It was rough for me.  I just felt lost.  Early that morning, Dan and I sat on a bench outside the hotel cabin.  It was still dark, mountains surrounding us.

 

 

 

I was going through a time in my walk with Him when I wasn’t sure how to organize all my thoughts.  We had learned about His glory and how we are blessed to bless others.  All right, true things.  But I was beginning to feel…disconnected.

 

A few weeks before, I had been reading an intense book about His sovereignty.  At one point, I closed the book and started to cry.  I looked up at the ceiling and go,

 

“I just want to know that You like me!”

 

I wish I could explain the way He ministered to me, even in the hours following that outburst.  He knew I needed to know He was near.  That He made me like I am for a reason.  That He thinks I’m funny.  That He understands why I do what I do.  That He hurts when I hurt.  That He’s a good Father.

 

So fast forward to this Easter morning.  Those same feelings were creeping back in.  Lost and, honestly, self-pitying.

 

Dan started to pray.  I don’t remember everything He talked to God about, but I remember wishing my heart lined up with it.  But it just didn’t.  So I asked Him,

 

“Would You come to us this morning?  Would You please meet me in my sadness?  Would You show me again that You are here?”

 

There was nothing immediate.  I didn’t feel instantaneously peaceful.  We just continued to sit there.  We sang some songs.

 

Then as soon as the sun started to rise, it began to rain.  So lightly.

 

And don’t you love the way sun looks through rain?

 

I smiled, but didn’t think too much about it.

 

After a few minutes, we headed back into our teammates’ room in the hotel.  His parents were visiting from America and his dad was planning on sharing from the Word for our celebration that morning.

 

He opened right up to these verses.

 

As surely as the sun rises,

He will appear;

He will come to us like the winter rains,

Like the spring rains that water the earth.

 

And there it was.  My answer.  I felt so warmed.

 

I might have held it together, but our teammate’s dad asked us,

 

“What is your most memorable Easter?”

 

When it was my turn to speak, the tears came.

 

I told them about how I was feeling.  Missing big, corporate worship.  Missing significant relationships.  Feeling lost.

 

Then I mentioned my prayer.  And the rain as the sun rose.  The winter rain.  The spring Easter rain.

 

He was with us.

 

In a point of my deep confusion and loss and loneliness, He showed up for me.  There was nothing I could do to make it happen.

 

All I had to do was ask.

 

Friends, He will come for us.  On the third day, He will restore us.

 

We have all been torn to pieces.  The things we do to each other and the things done to us are real, raw wounds.

 

As a friend read the other day from a seminary textbook, when we sin we aren’t just breaking an impersonal law.  Pay a fine and move on.

 

We are damaging our connection with Him.

 

It hurts Him.  It hurts others.  It violates the Law of Love.

 

True repentance means returning to Him so He can bind up our wounds.  They’re gaping, you know.  We cannot pretend they’re not there.

 

But instead of walking around, bloody and avoiding deep connection with each other, we take them to our Abba.  Then we come to one another in humility.  Broken but together.

 

He promises He will revive us.  His coming is as sure as the sun rising and the seasons changing.  There is nothing we can do that will stop His wild love for us.

 

Will You let Him?

 

I’ve been thinking about how writing is one way I feel closer to Jesus.  It’s like a form of worship for me.  Even when I just write about little things going on, I feel His presence.  If you’re interested, here’s some recent stuff:

 

So Valentine’s Day…Dan bought me beautiful roses.  But more than that, he held our feverish boys when he could last week.  He has been speaking such big brotherly-type truth into our friend’s life.  We were looking forward to an evening out on Saturday, but he saw in my face I wasn’t feeling great and sent me to bed early. Then proceeded to hang out with my parents and still-a-bit-sickie boys.

And that, my friends, is better than commercial Valentine’s.

 

(For the record, Dan talked about how he enjoyed the evening on Saturday.  I love and am so grateful for my parents.  God has been faithful to my family of origin.  I wouldn’t trade them for anything.)

 

Our little family had some time together yesterday (yippee!).  And while my man has to do the In-Service thing today, the boys and I are hanging out.

 

They grabbed some hats on the way out the door this morning:

 

Too much, aren’t they?

 

What else?

 

I missed holiday sock pictures last week.  Our sweet class photographer emailed me the photo…

 

 

I love that group.  Today a student told me he and some of his friends regularly meet at McDonald’s.  Are you ready for this? They call themselves ROMEOS…Retired Old Men Eating Out.

 

That is awesome.

 

The hubs and I did some intensive counseling with Madly in Love ministries around this time last year and got to go to a conference of theirs on Saturday.  During it I mentioned to Dan how we aren’t going through the steps as consistently anymore.  But he reminded me we are, just more naturally.  When hashing things out, we echo back without thinking and say things like, “I can see what you’re saying.”  And while our friends can testify we still bicker, I can’t remember the last time things escalated big time.  The whole thing reminded me why training is good.

 

So it can work its way into the fabric of our lives.

 

I’ve been teaching Silver Sneakers at the Y, which is an outside certification.  If I want to teach other classes, there is an 8 week training.  I’m not gonna lie, it’s been a bit hard on the ole ego.  Don’t get me wrong. There are times when I still feel like someone’s gonna realize I don’t know all the Latin names for the muscles and often put together choreography on the spot.  But at the same time, I’ve taught for a long time and didn’t want to take 8 Monday nights relearning the basics.

 

Well, oh my word.  First, I’m getting to know some fun people.  Plus, I’m learning lots of little tricks and ways to remember stuff I always forget and new choreography ideas and will get a review of the muscle groups and joint actions.  Good stuff.

 

So, how are you?  Any fun or random or serious stuff?

 

Hope you’re having a good week!

 

Did you grow up observing Lent?  I remember a few years when I gave up pop.  (Bless my 10-year-old heart.  I would still struggle with that.)

 

 

Last year I got off social media to prepare my heart for Easter.  It was a really great time of focusing on Him and His Word.

 

But this year I’m stumped.  God and I have way reduced the amount of blogs I regularly read and the days I’m on Facebook and Pinterest.  So social media is not my conviction this year.

 

But in the same way we do an advent calendar for Christmas, I want to help build the anticipation in my heart and our children’s hearts for Easter.

 

So, seriously…any ideas?  What have you done to draw closer to Him during this season?

 

Praise the LORD, O my soul;

All my inmost being, praise His holy Name.

Praise the LORD, O my soul,

And forget not all His benefits –

Who forgives all your sins

And heals all your diseases,

Who redeems your life from the pit

And crowns you with love and compassion…

The LORD is compassionate and gracious,

Slow to anger and abounding in love.

He will not always accuse,

Nor will He harbor His anger forever;

He does not treat us as our sins deserve

Or repay us according to our iniquities.

 

For as high as the heavens are

Above the earth,

So great is His love for those who fear Him;

As far as the east is from the west,

So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

 

As a father has compassion on His children,

So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him…

 

Praise the LORD, O my soul.

Have you ever felt led to do something and couldn’t see the immediate reason why in front of your face?

 

This is how I feel about continuing on in Hosea.  Maybe in a few years I’ll know why I feel like He won’t let me off the hook.  Maybe I’ll never know.

Let’s dive in together…

 

“Don’t point your finger at someone else

and try to pass the blame!

My complaint, you priests,

is with you…

When the people bring their sin offerings, the priests get fed.

So the priests are glad when the people sin!”  (Hosea 4:4, 8)

 

I don’t know any Israelite priests, but I have known many pastors.  Pastors who genuinely love Jesus and desire to lead their people well.  I can honestly say that knowing each of them has shed light on our Savior in a unique way and enriched my walk with Him.  I am so grateful.

 

I have also had so many kind, beautiful-hearted women invest in me.  Women who loved me when I wasn’t lovable and challenged me to keep seeking Him.  Women who have cried with me and prayed with me and been honest with me when honesty was what I needed.

 

I say all that because I want to make sure and say I have no bitterness in my heart at any spiritual leaders that have ever been a part of my life.  Not only that, but in a way that freaks me out, I have some women I get to invest in and for whom I will have to answer to God.  And I would have no room to throw stones.

 

But I also know that if I am going to do the book of Hosea justice, I cannot ignore what God tells us in these verses, some that follow, and in chapter 5:

 

Leadership is serious business.

 

And spiritual leadership is a huge responsibility before God.

 

But let’s back up a smidge on the meaning of verses 4 and 8.

 

Leviticus 6:24-27 says:

 

“Then the Lord said to Moses,

‘Give Aaron and his sons the following instructions regarding the sin offering.

The animal given as an offering for sin is a most holy offering, and it must be slaughtered in the Lord’s presence at the place where the burnt offerings are slaughtered.  The priest who offers the sacrifice as a sin offering must eat his portion in a sacred place within the courtyard of the Tabernacle.  Anyone or anything that touches the sacrificial meat will become holy.'”

Israel’s sacrificial system had incredibly detailed instructions.  It was most holy because Yahweh wanted His people to take it seriously.

So you can see why He would be upset if His priests were not treating their position with the care it deserved.  The priests were the ones who ate part of the sin offering.  They were getting to eat choice meat.  And so they were “glad when the people sinned.”

How that must have broken His heart!  Not only were His people sinning, but those who were the mediators were happy about it.

Or as a friend put it, “It is one thing to hurt my feelings…it’s another to enjoy hurting my feelings.”

 

And the unfortunate result:

“And what the priests do, the people also do.” (Hosea 4:9 NLT)

 

Leading is intimidating.  Many days I want to run and hide from it.

 

But the beauty of spiritual leadership is we are under Him.  His blood covers us. His grace cleanses shame or fear or pride or anger.  He makes us new, day by day.

 

And, as always, most beautiful of all is that we’re not the Ultimate Leader.  We point to Someone Else and get to be those broken clay pots that prove – over and over – the all-surpassing greatness will never be us.

 

It is Him.

 

Let’s keep pointing to Him.

 

There are two more verses I want to focus on.  Verse 16 in chapter 4 and verse 15 in chapter 5.

 

But first let’s chat about chapter 5.  It opens with this:

 

“Hear this, you priests.
    Pay attention, you leaders of Israel.
Listen, you members of the royal family.
    Judgment has been handed down against you.
For you have led the people into a snare
    by worshiping the idols at Mizpah and Tabor.” (Hosea 5:1 NLT)

 

If chapter 4 hit the priests hard, chapter 5 includes the other leaders: the royalty and the government.

 

Likewise, maybe we’re not designated spiritual leaders.  But we all have a realm where our effective will is done.  We all have influence.

 

And even more, if we are Believers then we are spiritual leaders.  We may not be Levitical priests, but we are a chosen people and a royal priesthood.  Those around will be looking at us to see what God is like.  Is He real?  Present?  Does He care?  Change us? Make our lives worth living?

 

And Who is this Jesus?  Most people who read the gospels are drawn to Him.  He’s not what one would think God would be like if He were to walk around on planet earth with us.

 

He’s so much better than our expectations.

 

Can we show the world this, Believers?  Through the power of the Spirit of the Living God within us, can we show them that the God of the Universe, in Jesus the Nazarene, is so much better than their expectations?

 

Okay, let’s get down to those two verses I mentioned:

 

“The people of Israel are as stubborn as mules. How can I feed them like lambs in a meadow?”  (Hosea 4:16 GNT)

 

…and…

 

“They will seek my face; in their misery they will earnestly seek me.”  (Hosea 5:15b NIV)

 

 

Can I ask you something?  Have you ever had to rebuke someone?  Did you enjoy it?  Look forward to it?

 

Or did you throw up?  Shake with dread but obey anyway?

 

Can I suggest something?  I think there are a lot of verses that point to how God doesn’t enjoy rebuking His people.

 

Did you see why He’s calling them stubborn mules?  It’s because He wants to feed them like lambs in a meadow.

 

And when He brings the misery of their sin upon them?  So they will turn and earnestly seek His face.

 

He is a Good Father.  His discipline is not out of meanness but His love.

 

It seems to me that the goal of our Just King is not destruction, but restoration.

 

Even Jesus, in His righteous anger, cried out:

 

“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.” (Matthew 23:37)

 

God insists on His ways because He knows they are for our good.

 

And He really, really loves us.

A psalm.  For giving thanks.

 

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

Worship the LORD with gladness;

Come before Him with joyful songs.

Know that the LORD is God.

It is He who made us, and we are His;

We are His people, the sheep of His pasture…

 

For the LORD is good and His

Love endures forever;

His faithfulness continues

Through all generations.