I crumble at Your kiss
And grace
I’m a weakling in the dust
Teach me how to cling to You
With all my life
And all my love

Father come to me
Hold me up
Cause I can barely stand

My strength is gone
And my breath is short
And I can’t reach out my hands

But my heart is set
On a pilgrimage
To Heaven’s Own Bright King

So in faltering
Or victory
I will always sing

And on the Road to Beautiful
My seasons always change
But my life is spent on loving You
To know You in Your power
And pain

You’re my Portion in this life
You’re my Strength now in the fight
And to You I pledge my heart
In the pain and in the dark
I’ll love You
I’ll love You

Father come to me
Hold me up
Cause I can barely stand

My strength is gone
And my breath is short
And I can’t reach out my hands

But my heart is set
On a pilgrimage
To Heaven’s Own Bright King

So in faltering
Or victory
I will always sing

I love You
I love You
I love You

– Charlie Hall, On the Road to Beautiful

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds
that may loom above
because you are much
greater than my pain
you who made a way for me
suffering your destiny
so tell me whats a little rain

Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the LORD God Almighty
is the LORD God Almighty

I’m forever singing

– Mercy Me

Me & Love have a long, twisted relationship. When Caden was born, all my walls came tumbling down and I felt the searing pain of will-do-anything-for-you unconditional love. I hated it.

This morning we went to Nursery Rhyme Time at the library. When it was done, I asked Miss Nina a quick question while my toddler ran off. No biggie. He’s looking at puzzles.

Wrong.

I couldn’t find him for a solid 3 minutes. He was all the way across the top floor in the video section. Wasn’t scared at all.

I almost had a meltdown and cried to a lady I barely know.

I love being a mom. But nothing else has ever made me feel so vulnerable.

I had to look up a verse in a couple translations for Bible Study in the morning. Have you read Hebrews 12 in The Message?

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?

My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline,
but don’t be crushed by it either.
It’s the child he loves that he disciplines;
the child he embraces, he also corrects.

God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children.

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2009/11/house-of-mercy.html

Oh this study. It took me 2 false starts (One in 2003 and one in 2007) and I finally finished it last summer. Not a moment behind God’s schedule…

“Galations 1:19 tells us Paul only saw Peter in Jerusalem, but I believe the reference’s intent is the time he spent getting aquainted with Peter. The other apostles may have heard Barnabas stand up for Paul, but Peter was the only one who really got to know the new convert. John did not get to know Paul at this time and may have purposely remained somewhat distant…

Fast-forward your thoughts on the time line to the death of James, John’s beloved brother. We have no reason to believe that much time passeed between Paul’s conversion and the martyrdom of James. We know that Stephen was martyred before Paul’s conversion and that Paul, in fact, gave approval to Stephen’s death.

Even though several years had passed, don’t you imagine that John had some pretty strong feelings about Paul? Even though Paul dramatically gave his life to Christ before James was killed, had I been John, I would have had difficulty embracing him. I’m afraid I would have had thoughts like, if not for people exactly like you, my brother might still be alive.

Maybe John felt none of what I’m describing, but I believe Christ’s first ragtag band of followers wasn’t unlike us at all. None of the other apostles had lost a sibling at this point. I just have to wonder how John felt about Paul those first several years.”

14 years later Paul approached the pillars in the church privately, and the following public meeting is documented in Acts 15 in greater detail. The outcome? Peter, Paul and Barnabas told their testimony of God’s work in Gentiles, and James used the Old Testament to encourage them to not make conversion difficult for non-Jews.

“In Galations 2:9 Paul said, ‘James, Peter and John, those reputed to be pillars, gave me and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship.’ Picture the five men mentioned conferring together and giving approval to one another:

* James, Christ’s half-brother, the unbelieving mocker turned preacher
* Peter, the one sifted like wheat, denying Christ and then having enough faith to return and strengthen his brothers
*John who asked whether he could sit at Chirst’s side in the kingdom and destroy the Samaritans (to whom he later was called to minister and watched the Holy Spirit fall on them)
*Paul, a former religious madman who approved of murdering Stephen and helped fuel a persecution that resulted in the murder of James
*Barnabas, who risked getting hammered by the early chruch by building a bridge between unlikely brothers

That’s just it. We’re all unlikely brothers. In Christ’s church the pillars were never designed to match. Each one is distinct. What need would cookie-cutter disciples meet? None of us were meant to match. We were meant to fit together!

1 Peter 4:10 encourages us to use our gifts to administer God’s grace in its various forms.

We don’t have to agree on every point of doctrine. We don’t even have to always get along. Galations 2 records a fairly heated argument between Peter and Paul. However God expects us to respect one another and acknoweldge the grace God extends to all who are in Christ. Paul came to the leaders in private, but the inference of the right hand of fellowship tells us that they gave him a very public stamp of approval. He needed that approval, and I believe God would have held the pillars of the church responsible for not extending it.

The bottom line, according to 1Cor3:5-9 is we all have a specific task as God’s fellow workers.

When Lifeway approached me with a contract to tape the first series, A Woman’s Heart: God’s Dwelling Place, I was pitifully wet behind the ears. I was petrified. The enemy came against me with such conflict and fear I think I would’ve backed out had I not signed a contract… I was desperate so I called Kay Arthur’s office and asked to speak to her…

God wasn’t about to let me get in touch with Kay Arthur. First of all, He wanted me to rely on Him alone. God knew how impressionable I was and that I had not yet allowed Him to fully develop my style. I have so much respect for Kay that if I could have, I would have wanted God to make me just like her. What need whatsoever would God have had for such a person? Kay does an excellent job of being Kay…

14 years lapsed between the time Paul first tried to fit in with the apostles and when he finally received the right hand of fellowship. I’d like to suggest that the hand didn’t come a moment behind schedule. What use would God have had for another James? Another Peter? Another John? His mission was distinct. And so, beloved, is yours. God knows what He’s doing! He is busy making you into someone no one else has ever been.”

What did you say? Something about copyright laws? I can’t hear you…

“I believe something huge happened for young John [when his brother was the first disciple martyred and Peter was miraculously released from prison instead of executed]. I think he came to the startling realization that we are each on our own before God. Every life is separate and distinct. We may think we have partnerships in life and ministry without which we cannot exist or operate. We may think that everything in the Christian experience is about body life, but it is not. Yes, we’re all parts of the body of Christ, and we function in each generation as parts of a whole; but until we each stand before God with a shocking awareness of our solitary standing, I’m not sure we have a clue about our part…

Will we loose our hold on anything and anyone else as a prerequisite to following Christ in the intensity of aloneness? If you can answer quickly, I’m not sure you grasp the seriousness…

‘I’m so far out on a limb with God now, if I even think of walking by sight instead of faith, I’m dead.’

How much of your life you’ve invested in Jesus is the issue. Have we held some back of ourselves – just in case He’s not as real, as powerful, as active as we thought? Or have we banked everything we have and everything we are on the reality that Jesus Christ is Lord of all the earth? We will never fulfill our destinies until our hope is built on nothing less…

We can lock arms with fellow servants just as the disciples did. For the parts of the whole to work as God intended them, however, each part must stand on its own before a highly personal God. When a wave of loneliness suddenly erupts, ride it…

The intensity of your solitary estate is often most obvious when you fight to reconcile the facts of life with the words of faith. Do you grapple, like John, with questions like, ‘Why did God let my brother die but perform a miracle for my best friend?’ I’m not sure John ever figured this one out. He was thankful his friend’s life was spared, but why was James’ life seemingly less significant? Why Lord? And what about me?

Solitude is not so much the place we find answers as the place we decide if we’re going on, possibly alone – without them. Many of us will. Why? Because the privilege of wrestling with such a holy and mysterious God still beats the numbness and pitiful mediocrity of life otherwise. He knows that what we crave far more than explanations is the unshakable conviction that He is utterly, supremely God.”

Whoa. I wasn’t even looking for this quote. I thought another one was on my heart in this Beloved Disciple study this morning. Nope, this is it.

That when my man saw this morning that all the frosting had been eaten off the rest of the pumpkin cake, he assumed his wife had done it…and not his 2-year-old son!

That’s funny on so many levels.

Ah, maturity. We’re working on it.

We do not set God up for success. He sets us up for success.

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/782/