Intentional Kingdom Living

Loving God and Loving People on purpose

I had lots of questions and issues last post.  But one of the things that all this comes down to is, “Does it matter?  As an believer in Jesus, are these issues some that should even be worthy of my attention?”

We are learning through a training program at our church about how discipling great commission leaders is the prime charge Jesus gave His followers as the church.  If the main thrust of the church is preaching the Word, discipling and nurturing believers, and evangelizing the lost, what role does the church itself have in matters of justice for the poor & social reform?  If the local church isn’t called to do all things well, does that mean, therefore, it does not have a responsibility in those areas?  What about individuals who make up the local church?  Is individual effort enough?  Do corporate measures need to be taken?  How does all this not lead to legalism: the idea that we can somehow earn our salvation through good works?  And what about the movements of churches exhibiting a radical social witness but abandoning what many consider sound, orthodox doctrine in their efforts?  
And the one that I wrestle with daily: who am I?  Why should I be trying to tackle these issues?  What do I even know?  How much experience do I really have in wrestling through the intricacies of these ideas?  What does my internal world and personal, daily life say about these matters’ importance in my heart?
More questions than answers.  And in working through the Freedom of Simplicity book I also picked up another book recommended by a friend, Generous Justice, which addresses these issues from multiple angles.  I’ve found some of his answers to these questions quite helpful and wanted to include this book as I document this journey.
And really that’s all I have for today.  I’m not sure where to dive in with some of the things I’ve read and talked through with others.  I’ll figure it out.  For now just know that while this fascinates and excites me, I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time.  I just want to consolidate thoughts in one place and hopefully include you in the process.  
Off to have a Saturday!
  

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More Simplicity

In thinking through money, possessions, inner detachment and the freedom of simplicity, this quote has come to mind more than once:

“Grace and latitude should mark our relationships.  All too often we can injure each other unduly in our zeal for justice and truth and righteousness.  The spirit of condemnation can creep into our relationships terribly subtly.  We can begin to look at each other’s possessions with a mental calculator.  But there is a more excellent way: we simply need to be with one another, loving, supporting, caring.  Of course, we live and speak the truth as it has been given to us, but the business of straightening each other out belongs to God, not us.”  (Foster, p. 193)

And one more:

“Let us seek to develop many corporate celebrations and feast days.  We are enriched by celebrating the goodness of God and our life together…We need times when our frugality gives way to the joyous slaying of the ‘fatted calf’…We all need festivals of joy as together we seek the holy simplicity so inherent in the kingdom of God.” (p. 194)

So in that spirit, one that is full of joy and freedom, I want to travel on with longer strides.

One way we can use outwardly simplified lifestyles is by allowing our pared-down needs to free us up to serve.  Foster talks about a carpenter who supports his family by working 2 days a week, while the rest of the week he and his family focus on justice for the poor in the city.  Or teachers who keep their needs low so they can use summers for ministry.  Where?  Anywhere there are people.  “Crisis centers, counseling services, hospitals, and a host of other agencies all need our help.  In one metropolitan city a small fellowship was able to find homes for some 350 homeless children.”
Our church takes small group life seriously, but also asks those groups to look outside themselves in service.  I’m sure most church leaders know of lots of opportunities to help lend a hand if they are asked.
Of course the best way to know where to serve and how is to be in people’s lives.  And that’s where it gets sticky.  That is a whole ‘nother story.  A messy one.  I’m sure you know that.  It’s called friendship.  And when it’s with the vulnerable of society, Foster calls this “identification with the poor.”  Finding out who in our cities are truly forgotten, abandoned and defenseless.  Bringing their needs to the attention of officials and pleading their cause before the powerful.
Another way is to live among those vulnerable or needy.  Think Mother Teresa in India.  Or you right where you are.  “Many of us, however, will be called to be among the abandoned of the earth in less dramatic ways.  We will respond to divine promptings to visit prisons and hospitals, rest homes and mental institutions.  We will tutor little ones deprived of basic skills.  We will take time to play with the child down the street that sits on the curb alone.”
Just as I typed that I thought of all the people I know who are doing that.  There are probably way more than I know simply because humility doesn’t demand attention.  I’m so grateful to know so many who love God and love others well.
And for the one that kills me.  The quote I think of often, knowing there needs to be a balance between sheltering and showing in parenting:
“Our children need to join us in this ministry of identification.  We do them no favor by shielding them from suffering and need.  If we imprison them in ghettos of affluence, how can they learn compassion for the broken of the world?  So let us walk hand in hand with our children into pockets of misery and suffering.
One specific means of identification with the poor is discovered in our approach to education.  Do we see a college education, for example, as a ticket to privilege or as a training for service to the needy?  What do we teach our teenagers in this matter?  Do we urge them to enter college because it will better equip them to serve? Or do we try to bribe them with promises of future status and salary increases?  No wonder they graduate more deeply concerned about their standard of living than about suffering humanity.”
Obviously, wisdom is needed in filtering those quotes.  But there they are.
Parenting constantly presents me with opportunities to choose “safe” over “obedient” in situations.  One of my main roles as parent is protecting my children.  One of my main roles as Child of God is obedience to Jesus, even when it is inconvenient or intimidating.
For example.  There are lots of things Caden is picking up from hanging out with neighborhood kids or from school.  (And so that I don’t come across as naive or arrogant, my child has introduced others to a few things himself.)  As we’ve started this journey through schooling, I see why homeschooling, private schooling, and transfering to more prestigious schools are so desirable.  I’m not saying we won’t do any or all of those things.  Our plan is to take it one year at a time one child at a time.  (Obviously there’s no other way to do it, I’m just saying I haven’t landed on some dramatic ‘stance’ toward schooling.)
And yet.
There’s something in me that wonders.  We are well-educated people from good families with good jobs.  If every person with that background moves to certain neighborhoods, or takes their kids to certain schools, what will become of the rest of them?  If the school down the street has low parent involvement and low finances (since the tax values of homes nearby are lower) couldn’t that mean throwing in in this neighborhood would be good?  And if not, how else do things change?

This topic is especially close to home as we regularly talk seriously about buying our first home.  We don’t have all noble ideals in talking through where to live or what kind of house to buy.  Foster touches on this in regards to real estate.  “In a system where funding for schools, public infrastructure, and other governmental services is determined by local-area tax base, those who find themselves poor receive inferior services and have fewer employment, social, and recreational opportunities than the wealthy…Those with abundant money to spend can live where they like and often end up as neighbors, while those with lesser means live in less affluent neighborhoods.  The aggregate of these individual decisions segregates the poor from the rich.”  (p. 201)

Foster makes sure to point out he owns a home.  We plan to make sure the home we invest in one day is a good one.  This is not about buying or not buying houses or feeling guilty.  For me at least, it’s about a level of awareness we tend to go through life without.
If there is a division in our world between rich and poor, haves and have-nots, why?  And if the Bible has much to say about what His children’s heart attitude toward the poor should be, why doesn’t mine line up with that?  And if there are real problems within the structure of our society, whose problem is it?
I’m not typing all this out just to feel good about it.  These are real questions I have and real topics I struggle with and real conversations I have with people.  Through reading and praying and thinking I have come to a few conclusions.  I plan on continuing to document that journey.
For today, I’ll end with saying I know there are both individual and corporate measures to be taken.  Since I am one person writing to other one persons, I’ll quote Foster on some steps we one persons can take:
“We can recycle.  We can reuse.  We can decide not to buy in the first place.
We can bike.  We can walk.  We can choose to stay at home and get to know our neighbors.
We can write.  We can sing.  We can decide to entertain ourselves and our friends.  
Taking the values we find in Christian simplicity and implementing them in our own lives is the primary way we can encourage these values in the world in which we find ourselves: our homes, our neighborhoods, our cities, our nations.”  (p. 210)

More next time!

Spiritual Eyesight

Then he sent horses and chariots and a strong force there.  They went by night and surrounded the city.

When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army of horses and chariots had surrounded the city.

“Oh my lord, what shall we do?” the servant asked.

“Don’t be afraid, ” the prophet answered.  “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.

And Elisha prayed, “O LORD, open his eyes so he may see.”  Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.”  2 Kings 6:14-17

From my study today.  I was having a day where my eyes needed to be opened and I didn’t even know it.

“Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  Hebrews 11:1

More

Our group has been digging in at the nursing home.  I’ve been surprisingly reluctant to document it here.  I’ve been holding some things pretty close to my heart.  We have a couple of ladies who are open to us and letting us in their lives.  It is not pretty or perfect, but it is real.  I’m grateful to join many other people, churches, and groups in reaching out to those who are shut in.

It’s got me thinking about simplicity more.  And making my life count.  We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow.  Therefore, making today count is important.

Last time I wrote about simplicity of heart, I hinted that Foster had ideas – once the internal nature of simplicity is firmly rooted in our thinking and lives – for going deeper in outward simplicity.  I thought I’d document some here, as a way of encouragement and keeping the ideas in front of me.

The first area that might be quite obvious was to talk through a need for planned spending.  A budget.  He reminds readers that “Forty years of gainful employment times and annual income of $30,000 would amount to $1.2 million for which we are responsible.  And that doesn’t include any increase in salary.  How dare we even think of handling such a tremendous resource without careful records.” (p.141)

I know.  He doesn’t mince words.  But put that way, it is compelling.  We were talking with friends about how long it takes to find a budget that works and is practical.  Then how hard it is to keep that budget.  It’s taken a long time in our marriage, and good advice from wise people, but we’ve found a system that is working right now.  My favorite point of Foster’s is to “put the giving of money to Christ and His Kingdom in a different financial frame of mind from other budget items.  What I mean is this: most budget items we hope to hold down, but our desire is to see giving increase as much as possible.”

Don’t you love that perspective?  Yes, that releases resources to meet needs.  But just as important, it keeps our hearts from greed.  It constantly challenges our motives in earning.  Others are blessed, but we are saved from ourselves.

A fun challenge he suggested was when you find you have a need for something, to ask God to bring it without automatically going out to buy it.  It could be a light-hearted exercise, watching God provide for needs.  It is very, very easy for Him to provide for our material needs.  He urges us to lay down the crushing burden of trying to get ahead and provide for ourselves.  (Matt 6)  Of course, we know this doesn’t mean we don’t work.  “No, we work, but we work in faith, not in the anxious concern of distrust.  We make provision as it seems right and good (just as the birds do), but what comes to us is not so much the result of our labor as it is the gracious gift of God.”

We have seen over and over God provide for our needs.  I’m sure you have, too.  I go through periods where I forget to take notice, but when I do notice…man, am I overwhelmed.

And the fun part is we get to be used by Him to help provide for others’ needs.  And the earth will appreciate any efforts of simplicity of life.  “Our little planet simply cannot sustain the gluttonous consumption of the wealthy West…If the rest of the world were to attempt to live on our level of consumption, it is projected that all known world resources of petroleum, tin, zinc, natural gas, lead, copper, tungsten, gold, and mercury would be exhausted in ten years…our planet simply cannot support the overload were the starving masses raised to our level of consumption.”

What does that do to your heart?  Part of my heart shrinks back.  I don’t know what to do with that quote while looking at my electric-powered washing machine, gas-powered car, and air conditioned home.  Do you know?  I don’t know.  I know God has put us smack in the middle of wealthy America in the 21st century and that the life we need to live in this culture is helped by these conveniences.  And that being motivated by guilt never produces good fruit.  I also have learned through experience there’s a way to not take these things for granted or be addicted to conveniences & comfort in general.  I wonder if learning to hold things with an open hand can be a journey with God that varies greatly between individuals and families.

What I know for sure is we can’t do this alone.  We can’t do much of the life in Christ alone.  Or we aren’t supposed to.  He made us to be in community, and we can help each other figure out what it looks like to go deeper or when we’re moving toward greed.  Yes, it’s a personal topic.  But I so hope we have people who can see into our lives.  All the way in.  I’m so grateful to be part of a church that takes small group community seriously.

This is a lot of words.  And I didn’t even get to lots of his thought-provoking suggestions.  I’m going to try to take smaller chunks and write more often.  What it does to my own heart when I put things down in (mostly) my own words is hard to explain.  Just know it helps me to do this.  I hope it encourages you, too.

New Verses

Some verses from our group’s study that have been speaking to me lately:

Psalm 25:4-5 “Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”
2 Corinthians 1:20a “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ.”
Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.”
1 Kings 18:42 “So Ahab went off to eat and drink, but Elijah climbed to the top of Carmel, bent down to the ground and put his face between his knees.”
Psalm 37:7 “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their evil ways, when they carry out their evil schemes.”
Micah 7:7 “But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.”
John 16:7 “I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away.  Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.”
Psalm 25:12 “Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD?  He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.”

No More Sad

So about that heavy heart thing…I’m doing good.  The past two days he’s run into the school when the door opens going, “Bye Mom!”  He loves it.  He loves his teacher, he loves when he gets “homework,” he loves Jacob and Carter.  Just love.

The first day Caleb napped and I got out Caden’s baby book after a leisurely reading time.  Mind you, I didn’t actually scrapbook anything, but it was out in case!  I got distracted by pictures and wandered down memory lane.

Yesterday Caleb had already napped earlier so I went grocery shopping with just one child!  Plus, we rocked a long time and I savored some me-and-Caleb moments.

Today I’m thinking Sonic Happy Hour is in order.  It’s a rough life.

But seriously, my hair is done.  My kitchen is clean.  Dinner is prepped.  Laundry is laundering.  Life is good.

And the best part?  Caden falls in bed exhausted at the end of the day – around 7:30!!  We were in that weird transition stage of kinda still need a nap, but not every day.  And when he took too long a nap we paid for it that night.  But these days sleeping is off the charts!  Not only is he not napping, but he’s engaged and active during that time.  We were needing a tired and ready for bed boy.  And boy do we have one now!  (Am I the only one whose sanity seems to rely heavily on sleep?)

Just thought I’d share.  I’m sure it won’t all be roses and butterflies, but we’re having a nice time so far!

First Day

I just dropped my first born off at PreK.  He was all about it then changed his tune a minute or two into entering the room.  Even though he seemed to get over it quickly, I prayed Jesus would help him have a good first day and love school.

It sprinkled as I walked back home across the school yard, baby in the stroller.  Though I didn’t cry, my heart felt heavy.  I know he’s just across the street, but that’s a lot further away than he has been the last four years.

God of the universe, please help one little boy make friends, quickly learn rules, and whet his appetite to learn for the rest of his life.

My man just called to check on me.  He’s wonderful.

Some pictures to remember this day:

With Daddy

I entitled the next series of pictures “Trying to get a second decent pose”

Showing off the backpack

Such a big kid

With Mama

This will be all right

Here’s to the next 14 years!

Well, it’s official.

PreK might just kill me.

We went to parent orientation today and he starts on Monday.

It all feels so vulnerable.

I want him to start.  He’s ready to learn and the engagement will be good for him.

But I’m apprehensive about handing him over to someone else 3 hours a day.

Plus, if we’re being totally honest, I’m nervous about my parenting being on display to others.

While we 3 parents orientated, the 3 kids played.  When Caden made a shooting sound, the teacher goes, “No guns here.”

Yikes!  He plays guns all the time.  I never thought about that being bad.

Like I said.  Vulnerable.

And humbling.

Vulnerable and humbled.  Not a bad place to be.

I struggle with what I’m doing being “enough.”  And I have to fight to not be jealous of those doing what I consider “big things” for God.

What’s a big thing?  Things like getting a degree in theology.  Or serving overseas.  Or adopting.

But then I have a day like today when I feel weak and helpless.  On the verge of tears over my child going to school.  And nervous about changing roles and being evaluated as a parent.  And it feels like more than enough.  Too much.  Of course it’s too much.  On my own strength.  But like our pastor reminded us on Sunday, He is faithful.

He’ll be faithful with my baby at school.

He’ll be faithful with my heart.

He’ll be faithful in parenting me as I keep learning to parent my boys.

Man, was I proud of him as I watched him practice lining up on the wall and figuring out where he’ll hang his backpack.

He was so proud, too.

He’s such a sweet boy.

And he’s ready.

I’m ready, too.

Most of the time.

And I know He’ll hold me when I’m struggling.

Because He’s good.

And so is moving on to the next stage when it’s right.

So, no, I guess it won’t kill me.

But I’ll be clinging.

Another good place to be.

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Pressing On

When I think about writing the next installment on simplicity of heart, I stop thinking about it.  I’m not sure where to start, but I’m also intimidated at the whole process.  Like, for example, how keenly aware I am that my inner world this morning didn’t line up with anything I would write about.

But I really don’t want that to stop me.

So on we travel.

Last time I ended on the note of obedience.  I don’t think that word is very popular in our culture.  It conjures up only negative images for a lot of us.  We most definitely prefer our independence and rights over any notion of obedience.

And yet…

There’s something so beautiful in not being ultimately in control.  In knowing and actually living out the reality that there’s One Who knows better and He might have a better idea than I do.  In fact, I’m learning that’s what prayer is (in this study our group is doing).  If prayer were about us getting God to change His mind, His plans could be thwarted (Job42:2), He wouldn’t be doing what He wants (Ps115:3) but what I want, His plans wouldn’t be standing firm forever (Ps33:11) and He would be like a man changing His mind (1Sam15:29) rather than being unchanging (Num23:19).

No, He is working according to a plan.  Thank goodness.  And He desires mercy.  Mercy triumphs over judgment!  However, when sin is going to bear the natural consequence (death) in a situation, God looks for an intercessor.  Someone whose heart can sync up with His heart and mind.  Someone who will stand in the gap (Ezek22) on behalf of those who would otherwise bear the consequences of their disobedience.  Dean writes, “What God wants to do on the earth, He will do through intercessors…  When God wants to change the course events will take on their own, He calls out an intercessor.” (page 27)

So, no, prayer does not change God, but “prayer does change the circumstances of earth.  If we approach prayer as if God’s mind needed to be changed, then aren’t we starting out with the supposition that God is about to make a mistake?  But if we understand that every thought and intention in the mind of God is good and righteous, then we will enthusiastically cooperate with Him, praying His power and provision onto the earth.”

Prayer changes us.  We get to line up with His desires in whatever situation we’re talking to Him about.  Soon we find His words remaining in us more and more (John15:7).  We’re not so confused about what to ask in a situation, or so selfish, because we’ve been spending more and more time with Him.  He’s teaching us to line up with Him.

And I think that’s the spirit of obedience Foster refers to that I quoted last time.  When we get to know His voice through the Word and the Spirit, and obey even when it’s hard, He changes us.  When we get honest in our prayer lives about what we really are wanting in the situation, and then get to the place where we can sincerely say, “Not my will, but Yours,” we don’t rise up from our knees the same.

Can you see why it would be important for us to start here if we’re going to address money and possessions and time and living in simplicity?  If you don’t, the odds of missing the point are pretty high.  But if we start with Him as the ultimate Treasure, and us as moldable and obedient, we can begin to talk about our bank accounts.

Thus, Foster starts with Christ the Center.  And the inner reality that must be in place.  “If all within us is honed down to the single treasure of Christ and his kingdom, then we are living in the light of simplicity.” (pg. 41)

But how does that happen?  How do we get there in our lived-out reality?  Isn’t that why we read the Bible, share life with like-minded people, go to church, pray?  I would say most definitely.  And Foster adds his thoughts on going deeper, which challenged me.

But I think that should wait.  So until next time!

“But as soon as they were at rest, they again did what was evil in your sight.” Nehemiah 9:28a

I’ve been thinking about how when my life is fairly comfortable, I’m not prone to cling to Him.  I start to live under this illusion that I’ve got things under control.  And faster than fast I slide into self-absorption.

I don’t want Him to have to make my life uncomfortable so I’ll live from His strength and not my own.  I guess that’s where discipline comes in.  The daily-ness of walking with Him and not just in trials.  I’ve always known that.  But you can know a lot of things.

I need Him in rest.  I need Him in trials.  I need Him in work.  I need Him at play.  I need Him when I’m getting along great with Dan.  I need Him when I’m failing to serve Dan above myself.  I need Him when I’m hanging in there as a mom.  I need Him when I’m overwhelmed by the task.  I need Him when I feel close and connected and in a mutually-serving relationship with my friends.  I need Him when I feel far away from them and can only think about what they can do for me.

I just read that Nehemiah verse today and was reminded of my need.  All the time.  Let’s cling to Him.

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