I had lots of questions and issues last post. But one of the things that all this comes down to is, “Does it matter? As an believer in Jesus, are these issues some that should even be worthy of my attention?”
More Simplicity
In thinking through money, possessions, inner detachment and the freedom of simplicity, this quote has come to mind more than once:
“Grace and latitude should mark our relationships. All too often we can injure each other unduly in our zeal for justice and truth and righteousness. The spirit of condemnation can creep into our relationships terribly subtly. We can begin to look at each other’s possessions with a mental calculator. But there is a more excellent way: we simply need to be with one another, loving, supporting, caring. Of course, we live and speak the truth as it has been given to us, but the business of straightening each other out belongs to God, not us.” (Foster, p. 193)
And one more:
“Let us seek to develop many corporate celebrations and feast days. We are enriched by celebrating the goodness of God and our life together…We need times when our frugality gives way to the joyous slaying of the ‘fatted calf’…We all need festivals of joy as together we seek the holy simplicity so inherent in the kingdom of God.” (p. 194)
So in that spirit, one that is full of joy and freedom, I want to travel on with longer strides.
This topic is especially close to home as we regularly talk seriously about buying our first home. We don’t have all noble ideals in talking through where to live or what kind of house to buy. Foster touches on this in regards to real estate. “In a system where funding for schools, public infrastructure, and other governmental services is determined by local-area tax base, those who find themselves poor receive inferior services and have fewer employment, social, and recreational opportunities than the wealthy…Those with abundant money to spend can live where they like and often end up as neighbors, while those with lesser means live in less affluent neighborhoods. The aggregate of these individual decisions segregates the poor from the rich.” (p. 201)
More next time!
Spiritual Eyesight
Then he sent horses and chariots and a strong force there. They went by night and surrounded the city.
When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army of horses and chariots had surrounded the city.
“Oh my lord, what shall we do?” the servant asked.
“Don’t be afraid, ” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.
And Elisha prayed, “O LORD, open his eyes so he may see.” Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.” 2 Kings 6:14-17
From my study today. I was having a day where my eyes needed to be opened and I didn’t even know it.
“Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1
More
Our group has been digging in at the nursing home. I’ve been surprisingly reluctant to document it here. I’ve been holding some things pretty close to my heart. We have a couple of ladies who are open to us and letting us in their lives. It is not pretty or perfect, but it is real. I’m grateful to join many other people, churches, and groups in reaching out to those who are shut in.
It’s got me thinking about simplicity more. And making my life count. We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. Therefore, making today count is important.
Last time I wrote about simplicity of heart, I hinted that Foster had ideas – once the internal nature of simplicity is firmly rooted in our thinking and lives – for going deeper in outward simplicity. I thought I’d document some here, as a way of encouragement and keeping the ideas in front of me.
The first area that might be quite obvious was to talk through a need for planned spending. A budget. He reminds readers that “Forty years of gainful employment times and annual income of $30,000 would amount to $1.2 million for which we are responsible. And that doesn’t include any increase in salary. How dare we even think of handling such a tremendous resource without careful records.” (p.141)
I know. He doesn’t mince words. But put that way, it is compelling. We were talking with friends about how long it takes to find a budget that works and is practical. Then how hard it is to keep that budget. It’s taken a long time in our marriage, and good advice from wise people, but we’ve found a system that is working right now. My favorite point of Foster’s is to “put the giving of money to Christ and His Kingdom in a different financial frame of mind from other budget items. What I mean is this: most budget items we hope to hold down, but our desire is to see giving increase as much as possible.”
Don’t you love that perspective? Yes, that releases resources to meet needs. But just as important, it keeps our hearts from greed. It constantly challenges our motives in earning. Others are blessed, but we are saved from ourselves.
A fun challenge he suggested was when you find you have a need for something, to ask God to bring it without automatically going out to buy it. It could be a light-hearted exercise, watching God provide for needs. It is very, very easy for Him to provide for our material needs. He urges us to lay down the crushing burden of trying to get ahead and provide for ourselves. (Matt 6) Of course, we know this doesn’t mean we don’t work. “No, we work, but we work in faith, not in the anxious concern of distrust. We make provision as it seems right and good (just as the birds do), but what comes to us is not so much the result of our labor as it is the gracious gift of God.”
We have seen over and over God provide for our needs. I’m sure you have, too. I go through periods where I forget to take notice, but when I do notice…man, am I overwhelmed.
And the fun part is we get to be used by Him to help provide for others’ needs. And the earth will appreciate any efforts of simplicity of life. “Our little planet simply cannot sustain the gluttonous consumption of the wealthy West…If the rest of the world were to attempt to live on our level of consumption, it is projected that all known world resources of petroleum, tin, zinc, natural gas, lead, copper, tungsten, gold, and mercury would be exhausted in ten years…our planet simply cannot support the overload were the starving masses raised to our level of consumption.”
What does that do to your heart? Part of my heart shrinks back. I don’t know what to do with that quote while looking at my electric-powered washing machine, gas-powered car, and air conditioned home. Do you know? I don’t know. I know God has put us smack in the middle of wealthy America in the 21st century and that the life we need to live in this culture is helped by these conveniences. And that being motivated by guilt never produces good fruit. I also have learned through experience there’s a way to not take these things for granted or be addicted to conveniences & comfort in general. I wonder if learning to hold things with an open hand can be a journey with God that varies greatly between individuals and families.
What I know for sure is we can’t do this alone. We can’t do much of the life in Christ alone. Or we aren’t supposed to. He made us to be in community, and we can help each other figure out what it looks like to go deeper or when we’re moving toward greed. Yes, it’s a personal topic. But I so hope we have people who can see into our lives. All the way in. I’m so grateful to be part of a church that takes small group community seriously.
This is a lot of words. And I didn’t even get to lots of his thought-provoking suggestions. I’m going to try to take smaller chunks and write more often. What it does to my own heart when I put things down in (mostly) my own words is hard to explain. Just know it helps me to do this. I hope it encourages you, too.
New Verses
Some verses from our group’s study that have been speaking to me lately:
No More Sad
So about that heavy heart thing…I’m doing good. The past two days he’s run into the school when the door opens going, “Bye Mom!” He loves it. He loves his teacher, he loves when he gets “homework,” he loves Jacob and Carter. Just love.
The first day Caleb napped and I got out Caden’s baby book after a leisurely reading time. Mind you, I didn’t actually scrapbook anything, but it was out in case! I got distracted by pictures and wandered down memory lane.
Yesterday Caleb had already napped earlier so I went grocery shopping with just one child! Plus, we rocked a long time and I savored some me-and-Caleb moments.
Today I’m thinking Sonic Happy Hour is in order. It’s a rough life.
But seriously, my hair is done. My kitchen is clean. Dinner is prepped. Laundry is laundering. Life is good.
And the best part? Caden falls in bed exhausted at the end of the day – around 7:30!! We were in that weird transition stage of kinda still need a nap, but not every day. And when he took too long a nap we paid for it that night. But these days sleeping is off the charts! Not only is he not napping, but he’s engaged and active during that time. We were needing a tired and ready for bed boy. And boy do we have one now! (Am I the only one whose sanity seems to rely heavily on sleep?)
Just thought I’d share. I’m sure it won’t all be roses and butterflies, but we’re having a nice time so far!
First Day
I just dropped my first born off at PreK. He was all about it then changed his tune a minute or two into entering the room. Even though he seemed to get over it quickly, I prayed Jesus would help him have a good first day and love school.
It sprinkled as I walked back home across the school yard, baby in the stroller. Though I didn’t cry, my heart felt heavy. I know he’s just across the street, but that’s a lot further away than he has been the last four years.
God of the universe, please help one little boy make friends, quickly learn rules, and whet his appetite to learn for the rest of his life.
My man just called to check on me. He’s wonderful.
Some pictures to remember this day:
Well, it’s official.
PreK might just kill me.
We went to parent orientation today and he starts on Monday.
It all feels so vulnerable.
I want him to start. He’s ready to learn and the engagement will be good for him.
But I’m apprehensive about handing him over to someone else 3 hours a day.
Plus, if we’re being totally honest, I’m nervous about my parenting being on display to others.
While we 3 parents orientated, the 3 kids played. When Caden made a shooting sound, the teacher goes, “No guns here.”
Yikes! He plays guns all the time. I never thought about that being bad.
Like I said. Vulnerable.
And humbling.
Vulnerable and humbled. Not a bad place to be.
I struggle with what I’m doing being “enough.” And I have to fight to not be jealous of those doing what I consider “big things” for God.
What’s a big thing? Things like getting a degree in theology. Or serving overseas. Or adopting.
But then I have a day like today when I feel weak and helpless. On the verge of tears over my child going to school. And nervous about changing roles and being evaluated as a parent. And it feels like more than enough. Too much. Of course it’s too much. On my own strength. But like our pastor reminded us on Sunday, He is faithful.
He’ll be faithful with my baby at school.
He’ll be faithful with my heart.
He’ll be faithful in parenting me as I keep learning to parent my boys.
Man, was I proud of him as I watched him practice lining up on the wall and figuring out where he’ll hang his backpack.
He was so proud, too.
He’s such a sweet boy.
And he’s ready.
I’m ready, too.
Most of the time.
And I know He’ll hold me when I’m struggling.
Because He’s good.
And so is moving on to the next stage when it’s right.
So, no, I guess it won’t kill me.
But I’ll be clinging.
Another good place to be.
Pressing On
When I think about writing the next installment on simplicity of heart, I stop thinking about it. I’m not sure where to start, but I’m also intimidated at the whole process. Like, for example, how keenly aware I am that my inner world this morning didn’t line up with anything I would write about.
But I really don’t want that to stop me.
So on we travel.
Last time I ended on the note of obedience. I don’t think that word is very popular in our culture. It conjures up only negative images for a lot of us. We most definitely prefer our independence and rights over any notion of obedience.
And yet…
There’s something so beautiful in not being ultimately in control. In knowing and actually living out the reality that there’s One Who knows better and He might have a better idea than I do. In fact, I’m learning that’s what prayer is (in this study our group is doing). If prayer were about us getting God to change His mind, His plans could be thwarted (Job42:2), He wouldn’t be doing what He wants (Ps115:3) but what I want, His plans wouldn’t be standing firm forever (Ps33:11) and He would be like a man changing His mind (1Sam15:29) rather than being unchanging (Num23:19).
No, He is working according to a plan. Thank goodness. And He desires mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment! However, when sin is going to bear the natural consequence (death) in a situation, God looks for an intercessor. Someone whose heart can sync up with His heart and mind. Someone who will stand in the gap (Ezek22) on behalf of those who would otherwise bear the consequences of their disobedience. Dean writes, “What God wants to do on the earth, He will do through intercessors… When God wants to change the course events will take on their own, He calls out an intercessor.” (page 27)
So, no, prayer does not change God, but “prayer does change the circumstances of earth. If we approach prayer as if God’s mind needed to be changed, then aren’t we starting out with the supposition that God is about to make a mistake? But if we understand that every thought and intention in the mind of God is good and righteous, then we will enthusiastically cooperate with Him, praying His power and provision onto the earth.”
Prayer changes us. We get to line up with His desires in whatever situation we’re talking to Him about. Soon we find His words remaining in us more and more (John15:7). We’re not so confused about what to ask in a situation, or so selfish, because we’ve been spending more and more time with Him. He’s teaching us to line up with Him.
And I think that’s the spirit of obedience Foster refers to that I quoted last time. When we get to know His voice through the Word and the Spirit, and obey even when it’s hard, He changes us. When we get honest in our prayer lives about what we really are wanting in the situation, and then get to the place where we can sincerely say, “Not my will, but Yours,” we don’t rise up from our knees the same.
Can you see why it would be important for us to start here if we’re going to address money and possessions and time and living in simplicity? If you don’t, the odds of missing the point are pretty high. But if we start with Him as the ultimate Treasure, and us as moldable and obedient, we can begin to talk about our bank accounts.
Thus, Foster starts with Christ the Center. And the inner reality that must be in place. “If all within us is honed down to the single treasure of Christ and his kingdom, then we are living in the light of simplicity.” (pg. 41)
But how does that happen? How do we get there in our lived-out reality? Isn’t that why we read the Bible, share life with like-minded people, go to church, pray? I would say most definitely. And Foster adds his thoughts on going deeper, which challenged me.
But I think that should wait. So until next time!
“But as soon as they were at rest, they again did what was evil in your sight.” Nehemiah 9:28a
I’ve been thinking about how when my life is fairly comfortable, I’m not prone to cling to Him. I start to live under this illusion that I’ve got things under control. And faster than fast I slide into self-absorption.
I don’t want Him to have to make my life uncomfortable so I’ll live from His strength and not my own. I guess that’s where discipline comes in. The daily-ness of walking with Him and not just in trials. I’ve always known that. But you can know a lot of things.
I need Him in rest. I need Him in trials. I need Him in work. I need Him at play. I need Him when I’m getting along great with Dan. I need Him when I’m failing to serve Dan above myself. I need Him when I’m hanging in there as a mom. I need Him when I’m overwhelmed by the task. I need Him when I feel close and connected and in a mutually-serving relationship with my friends. I need Him when I feel far away from them and can only think about what they can do for me.
I just read that Nehemiah verse today and was reminded of my need. All the time. Let’s cling to Him.
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