I’ve been the one to shake with fear

And wonder if You’re even here

I’ve been the one to doubt Your love

And told myself You’re not enough

I’ve been the one to try and say

I’ll overcome by my own strength

I’ve been the one to fall apart

And start to question Who You are

You’re the One Who conquers giants

You’re the One Who calls out kings

You shut the mouths of lions

You tell the dead to breathe

You’re the One Who walks through fire

You take the orphan’s hand

You are the one Messiah

You are I AM!

I’ve been the one held down in chains

Beneath the weight of all my shame

I’ve been the one to believe

That where I am You cannot reach

The veil is torn

And now I live with the Spirit inside!

The same One, the very same One

Who brought the Son back to life!

Hallelujah He lives in me!

Hallelujah He lives in me!

You’re the One Who conquers giants

You’re the One Who calls out kings

You shut the mouths of lions

You tell the dead to breathe

You’re the One Who walks through fire

You take the orphan’s hand

You are the one Messiah

You are I AM!

You are I AM!

– Mercy Me “You are I AM”

Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’  Then what shall I say to them?”

God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.  This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.'”  (Exodus 3:13-14)

“The wind blows wherever it pleases.  You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going.  So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”  (John 3:8)

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/586/

We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.

– 1 Thessalonians 2:8

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/587/

I thought I’d share some verse prayers I pray for our family.  His Word is powerful!

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that our words may benefit those who list (Eph 4:29)

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/588/

School’s out! 

Hooray!

And, whoa. 

It’s both good and hard.

There are some ways in which I’m very spontaneous.  But I do love our school year routine. 

Fortunately, Caden made some good buddies at preschool this year who live in our area, so we’ll be having plenty of close-by, very-mommy-needed play dates.  We all tend to do better when we’re not sitting in the house all day.  That was a large understatement.

Also.  Dan has taught a 4-H camp the past several summers and this year Caden is old enough to go with him!  Everyone is very stoked.  Except little brother. Who will feel very left out.  Sad face.

I will start teaching one senior class a week at the YMCA in June.  That means we get to go to the pool and water parks this year!!  So much fun.  Dan can also have accountability and work out at the same time with friends.  It will be good for everyone. 

Dan always has lots of plans for around the house.  This summer it’s building a pergola.  Whoa.  Fortunately, his stepdad is a fabulous carpenter and can help us out.  Still.  Big project.

And of course there will be plenty of time with grandparents and cousins!  Ah, summer love.

I was thinking about personalities this morning as I set up an obstacle course for my seniors at the gym.  I think most people who know me know I’m a fan of Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator.  (That was also a large understatement.)  But I don’t know how many people I’ve told why I love it so much.  So here goes.

One of the things that delights me is that there are multiple (16) general types that can come out of it, but each type is so nuanced in itself.  For example.  My letters indicate that I am, in fact, an extravert.  Actually, what MBTI experts say is, “your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.”  So far, so good.  Yes.  I find myself so energized by people.  And I’m very aware of what’s around me.  But not the way that sounds.  Not as in: the colors of a room, what that person is wearing, if the floor is clean, or how far apart your furniture should be arranged.  I’m not focused on what I can see with my five senses. 

I am aware of other things.  How that person is feeling.  Who is in conflict with whom.  Power struggles.  Or, not struggles.  Just…how power is distributed in a particular situation.  I live in a world of ideas.  I have other Intuitive friends who say they see colors around people.  Don’t write me (them) off!  This is for reals, yo.  One friend of mine is one of the most intuitive people I’ve ever met.  And though she doesn’t walk with Jesus, I have seen God use the gift He’s given her to build others (me) up and, in turn, received glory. 

I’ve chatted with wise people about differences between natural abilities, acquired skills, and spiritual gifts.  Won’t go into that here.  Just know I realize all those things exist and work together.

Anyway, the experts say my “secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.” 

Know how I read that? 

My feelings are very introverted. 

Especially the most deeply-held ones.

I require a lot of time alone with my feelings to sort them through.  And most of them are projected internally, too.  I don’t often find myself raging mad at others and project deep feelings onto them.  I more often find myself taking them on; pulling them into my heart and being sad.

I hope this doesn’t sound like bragging.  Oh, Father, please no.  Just explanation.  Just some things that may come out better if I write them than try to say them.

For example.  I absolutely hate crying in public.  I used to think this was just pride, but now I am starting to see how it’s just very personal.  In fact, I like crying with someone I love.  Even ugly crying.  But usually my weeping is reserved for Him.  His lap and kind touch.  It’s just introverted.

I remember hearing Beth Moore teach on Revelation 2:17b: “To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna.  I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.”  (emphasis mine)

She said, “You don’t get to know.  Because you weren’t there.  I don’t get to know yours.  Because I wasn’t there.  Some of what we go through with Jesus is entirely personal.  You don’t get to know.”

All of this is to say: I love people and get energy from them.  But I don’t always share my innermost feelings.  Especially if I have a sense they won’t deal with them wisely or compassionately.  They don’t get to know.

A kind person asked me once what my definition of a safe person was.  I didn’t even have to think.  I go, “Someone who won’t take something they know about me and use it against me.”

Safety.  Not a right.  And not always a possibility.  Except with our God.  He is perfectly safe.  According to my definition.  Praise Him, He’s also extremely untamable. 

“There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides on the heavens to help you and on the clouds in His majesty.”  (Deuteronomy 33:26)

Oh, thank You, God.  Thank You.

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/589/

You were reaching through the storm

Walking on the water

Even when I could not see

In the middle of it all

Not for a moment did You forsake me

Not for a moment did You forsake me

After all You are constant

After all You are only good

After all You are sovereign

Not for a moment will You forsake me

Not for a moment will You forsake me

You were singing in the dark

Whispering Your promise

Even when I could not hear

I was held in Your arms

Carried for a thousand miles to show

Not for a moment did You forsake me

And every step, every breath You are there

Every tear every cry every prayer

In my hurt at my worst

When my world falls down

Not for a moment will You forsake me

Even in the dark

Even when it’s hard

You will never leave me

After all

After all You are constant

After all You are only good

After all You are sovereign

Not for a moment will You forsake me

Not for a moment will You forsake me

Not for a moment will You forsake me!

– Meredith Andrews “Not For a Moment”

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/590/

My purpose in writing is simply this: that you who believe in God’s Son will know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you have eternal life, the reality and not the illusion.  And how bold and free we then become in his presence, freely asking according to his will, sure that he’s listening.  And if we’re confident that he’s listening, we know that what we’ve asked for is as good as ours.

For instance, if we see a Christian believer sinning (clearly I’m not talking about those who make a practice of sin in a way that is ‘fatal,’ leading to eternal death), we ask for God’s help and he gladly gives it, gives life to the sinner whose sin is not fatal.  There is such a thing as a fatal sin, and I’m not urging you to pray about that.  Everything we do wrong is sin, but not every sin is fatal. 

We know that none of the God-begotten makes a practice of sin – fatal sin.  The God-begotten are also the God-protected.  The Evil One can’t lay a hand on them.  We know that we are held firm by God; it’s only the people of the world who continue in the grip of the Evil One.  And we know that the Son of God came so we could recognize and understand the truth of God – what a gift! – and we are living in the Truth itself, in God’s Son, Jesus Christ.  This Jesus is both True God and Real Life.  Dear children, be on guard against all clever facsimiles.

– 1 John 5:13-21 (Message)

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/591/

Jesus answered, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way?  I tell you, no!  But unless you repent, you too will all perish.  Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them – do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem?  I tell you, no!  But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”

– Luke 13:2-5

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.  He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

– 2 Pete 3:9

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/592/

Your love is like a river flowing from my heart
Your love is like a river flowing from my heart

When this cruel world tears us apart
Your love is like a river flowing from my heart
When sharpened words have left their scars
Your love is like a river flowing from my heart
And it’s overflowing and showing us all
How deep and how wide is Your love
It never stops, it rages on
Your love is like a river flowing from my heart

When I am tired and so afraid
Your love is like a fire that will light my way
When darkness falls and my vision fades
Your love is like a fire that will light my way
And it’s always burning and stirring my soul
To know You and love You much more
It never stops or ever fades
Your love is like a fire that will light my way

IT’S NEVER GONNA STOP
IT’S FLOWING FROM MY HEART
IT’S NEVER GONNA FADE
YOUR LOVE WILL LIGHT MY WAY

When all my strength and hope is gone
Your love is like a rock that I am standing on

Your love is like a river flowing from my heart
Your love is like a fire that will light my way
Your love is like a rock that I am standing on
Your love is like a river flowing from my heart
Your love is like a fire that will light my way
Your love is like a rock that I am standing on
Your love is like a river flowing from my heart

– Third Day “Your Love is Like a River”

Today’s song and yesterday’s song keep running through my head.  They won’t stop.  They’ve become like a prayer for me.  Does God do that to you, too?  With songs and Scripture and words?  Does Jeremiah resound in you, too? 

“But if I say, ‘I will not mention him or speak any more in his name, his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones.  I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot…All my friends are waiting for me to slip…But the LORD is with me like a mighty warrior.”  (Jeremiah 20:9, 10b, 11a)

Isn’t He amazing?

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/593/

I don’t know where to go from here

It all used to seem so clear

I’m finding I can’t do this on my own

I don’t know where to go from here

As long as I know that You are near

I’m done fighting

I’m finally letting go

If there’s a road I should walk

Help me find it

And if I need to be still

Give me peace for the moment

Whatever Your will

Whatever Your will

Can You help me find it?

I’m giving You fear and you give faith

I’m giving You doubt

You give me grace

For every step I’ve never been alone

Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way

Even in the valley I will say

With every breath

You’ve never let me go

I will wait for You

You’ve never failed before

I will wait for You

– Sidewalk Prophets “Help Me Find It’

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/594/

“I realized that my debilitating regret was characteristic of worldly sorrow, not godly sorrow…’worldly grief’ [is] defined as ‘hopeless sorrow.’  I grieved and regretted my past with feelings of hopelessness.  My deep failures felt like hopeless blights on my track record.  My past was behind me and nothing could fix it.  At times I felt such despair about my past that I secretly wished I were dead.  Not only can worldly sorrow lead to death in spiritual terms, its hopelessness can cause someone to wish death on himself. 

Beloved, my ‘hopeless sorrow’ totally missed the meaning of the biblical word redemption.  God redeems something by buying it back through the payment of ransom.  He gave the life of His Son as the ransom to buy us back from the clutches of sin.  He has also bought back the rights to our past and all its failures.  If we cooperate, He’ll turn every single one of those failures into something useful for His kingdom.  To me, that’s the meaning of ‘full redemption’ in Psalm 130:

‘If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is forgiveness;

therefore you are feared.

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,

and in His Word I put my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen wait for the morning,

more than watchmen wait for the morning.

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,

for with the LORD is unfailing love

and with him is full redemption.’

-Psalm 130:3-7

Put your name in the blank in verse 7 where the word ‘Israel’ was.

O ________________________, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love

and with him is full redemption.

If you’ve nursed hopeless grief over your past, put your hope in the Lord!  He loves you unfailingly!  He wants to fully redeem every part of your life until even your failures bring Him glory. 

Will you let Him?”

Daniel: Lives of Integrity, Words of Prophecy by Beth Moore

pages 101-102

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/595/