I promise this is the last Conversion Diary post I’ll link to for now (I say to my one reader). But I laughed and laughed…

http://www.conversiondiary.com/2007/09/what-i-miss-about-not-having-kids.html

…I just call this blog the “Go Read Conversion Diary Blog” blog. She is amazing:

http://www.conversiondiary.com/2009/08/duty-before-holiness.html

Under the category of “May I Never Forget I Read This”

http://www.conversiondiary.com/2009/01/power-of-humility.html

Whoa…

http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/shannon/2007/06/wilderness.html

https://www.intentionalkingdomliving.com/838/

Oh for the wisdom of knowing how to walk with Him in such a focused, unselfish way as to see His whole perspective:

http://intent.squarespace.com/brush-strokes/2009/9/4/i-wanted-to-dance.html

Holy, You are still holy
Even when the darkness surrounds my life
Sovereign, You are still sovereign
Even when confusion has blinded my eyes
Lord, I don’t deserve Your kind affection
When my unbelief has kept me from Your touch
I want my life to be a pure reflection
Of Your love

And so I come into Your chamber
And I dance at Your feet, Lord
You are my Saviour
And I’m at Your mercy
All that has been in my life
Up ’til now
It belongs to You
You are still holy

Holy, You are still holy
Even though I don’t understand
Your ways
Sovereign, You will be sovereign
Even when my circumstances don’t change
Lord, I don’t deserve your tender patience
When my unbelief has kept me from Your truth
I want my life to be a sweet devotion
To You

And so I come into Your chamber
And I dance at Your feet, Lord
You are my Saviour
And I’m at Your mercy
All that has been in my life
Up ’til now
It belongs to You
I belong to You

You are still holy
You are still sovereign
You are still holy, Lord
You are still righteous
You are all-knowing
You are still holy

Rita Springer, You are Still Holy

Created to Worship Live Album. Buy it. Put it in your car. Never stop listening to it.

• You promise You will go before me and make the rough places smooth. And You will give me the treasures of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places, so that I may know it is You, the God of Israel, Who calls me by name. – Isaiah 45
• Lead me when I’m blinded by ways I have not known, along unfamiliar paths please guide me. Turn the darkness into light and make the rough places smooth. – Isaiah 42
• You will fight for me; help me only to be still – Exodus 14
• You do not give to me as the world gives. My heart need not be troubled or afraid. – John 14
• Because You, Sovereign Lord, help me I will not be disgraced. I know I will not be put to shame. He who vindicates me is near. Who then will bring charges against me? Who is my accuser? It is the Sovereign Lord who helps me. Who is he that will condemn me? – Isaiah 50
• I will trust in You. My times are in Your hands. Deliver me from my enemies. Save me in Your unfailing love. – Psalm 31
• The LORD turns my darkness into light – 2 Samuel 22
• You will not take Your love for me. You will never betray Your own faithfulness. – Psalm 89
• You are the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. Thank You for comforting me in all my troubles, so that I can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort I have received from You. – 2 Corinthians
• You will heal my waywardness. You love me freely. – Hosea 14
• You saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul. You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place. – Psalm 31
• Blessed am I when I take refuge in You. No one will be condemned who takes refuge in You. – Psalm 34
• When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul. – Psalm 94
• Though you bring grief, You will show compassion, so great is Your unfailing love. – Lamentations 3
• I call to You and You save me. Even if I cry out in distress evening, morning and noon, You will never fail to hear my voice. – Psalm 55
• Thank You that You gently lead those that have young – Isaiah 40
• You are my hiding place. (Psalm 32) Cover me with Your feathers and grant me refuge under your wings (Psalm 91)
• You will be with me in trouble. You will deliver me and honor me! – Psalm 91
• Because of Your great love I am not consumed, for Your compassions never fail. They are new toward me every morning; great is Your faithfulness! I will say to myself, “The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him.” – Lamentations 3
• My soul faints with longing for Your salvation, but I have put my hope in Your Word. – Psalm 119
• When I was in great need, You saved me. Be at rest once more, Oh my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. – Psalm 116
• My flesh and my heart may fail, but You, God, are the strength of my heart and my portion forever. I have made You, Sovereign Lord, my refuge – Psalm 73
• I am still confident of this: I will see Your goodness, Lord, in the land of the living. I will wait for You, Lord. I will be strong and take heart and wait for You. – Psalm 27

I love words. My new favorite quotes:

“Sin has consequences, yes, but being separated from God’s love is not one of them. Whatever we do because we feel we “should” or because we “have to” is of no benefit. Our motivation is not love – and motivation is everything to God. 2 Cor. 9:7 – only when we are free can we love freely. If we are in slavery because of guilt or fear to “shoulds” we are not ready to love. We must first be set free. Slaves do not love; sons and daughters do.” – Cloud & Townsend

Romans 2:1 “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.” – Paul. Gotta love Paul. The Spirit through his words Kick. My. Butt.

“Pre-Pentecost, the disciples were a mess. Unfocused, they didn’t know the simplicity of life. But in the course of time Jesus had formed a community of people who would live in holy obedience. Finally a people had been gathered who, when God said “Wait” would wait, when God said “Go” would go and when God said “Give” would give. Seasoned by failures and some successes, imperfect and ignorant of many things, they were nevertheless a prepared people. And God said “Wait.” Disciplined, obedient, simple, they waited. And the fire fell.” – Foster. The Freedom of Simplicity. Best book ever.

“If we are still in bondage to sin, our serving will flow out of that center…Pride and fear and manipulation will control our actions…If we are still in bondage to others, our serving will flow out of that center. We will be controlled by a desire to impress them, or receive their help. Without Gospel liberty, we will forever measure who we are by the yardstick of others. But once the grace of God has broken into our lives, we are free.” – Foster again. Told you. Best book.

“In my prior image of Jesus, I realized his personality matched that of a Star Trek Vulcan: he remained calm, cool, and collected as he strode like a robot among excitable human beings on spaceship earth. That is not what I found portrayed in the Gospels…Other people affected Jesus deeply: obstinacy frustrated him, self-righteousness infuriated him, simple faith thrilled him. Indeed He seemed more emotional and spontaneous than the average person, not less. More passionate, not less.” – Yancey. This quote is in pure self-defense of my emotional side!

Blogging is scary for me. And here’s why: This past year, for the first time in my life, I have not had a parent, teacher, coach, primary mentor, professor, boss, or supervisor guiding my actions. My husband lovingly leads our family and I have an immediate supervisor where I teach part-time. But other than that, if there’s something I want to do, I do it. If I see another, better use for my day, I do that instead.

And it terrifies me.

We need not delve into the psychological reasons why. But I can’t get over the fact that no one is asking me to write all this stuff and post it on the world wide web. No one. I’m just choosing to do it as a processing tool for myself. And I feel so vulnerable.

God doesn’t always work this way in my life, but recently at the library He seems to be guiding my book choices. I can’t explain how. Kinda like a rush when I pick up the book. And one of those times was a book on dating.

Interesting, you say. Didn’t you just mention a Hubby?

Duh. Not for me. This is for my single friend. I don’t need any of the advice in this book. Nooo, not at all!

It talked about how if you’re at a certain stage of adulthood, you no longer interact regularly and casually with members of the opposite gender the way you do when you’re in school or college. So if you’re stuck in dating you have to get yourself out there. You have to make it happen for yourself as an adult.

It so resonated with me. If I want to start writing again, then I make it happen for myself. No one is going to enforce, encourage or coddle me in my decisions these days.

And I’m so grateful. Scared out of my mind, but grateful.

You’ve probably heard about how people in the jungle trap monkeys. They drill a hole in a coconut that’s big enough for the monkey to reach through if he flattens his hand. Then they mount that coconut down somehow to a tree. Inside they put peanuts. And therein lies the problem. The monkey smells what’s inside and figures out how to get his hand in. By then he knows he has his hands on a “treasure” and he’s determined to keep hold of it. But he can’t get his hand out of the coconut until he lets go. Whether minutes or hours later, the hunters know just where to find these monkeys. Because they can’t leave. They can’t let go of their treasure, even though it leads to their death.

Oh man, am I like this. I hold onto peanuts all the time instead of freedom.