Adulthood

Blogging is scary for me. And here’s why: This past year, for the first time in my life, I have not had a parent, teacher, coach, primary mentor, professor, boss, or supervisor guiding my actions. My husband lovingly leads our family and I have an immediate supervisor where I teach part-time. But other than that, if there’s something I want to do, I do it. If I see another, better use for my day, I do that instead.

And it terrifies me.

We need not delve into the psychological reasons why. But I can’t get over the fact that no one is asking me to write all this stuff and post it on the world wide web. No one. I’m just choosing to do it as a processing tool for myself. And I feel so vulnerable.

God doesn’t always work this way in my life, but recently at the library He seems to be guiding my book choices. I can’t explain how. Kinda like a rush when I pick up the book. And one of those times was a book on dating.

Interesting, you say. Didn’t you just mention a Hubby?

Duh. Not for me. This is for my single friend. I don’t need any of the advice in this book. Nooo, not at all!

It talked about how if you’re at a certain stage of adulthood, you no longer interact regularly and casually with members of the opposite gender the way you do when you’re in school or college. So if you’re stuck in dating you have to get yourself out there. You have to make it happen for yourself as an adult.

It so resonated with me. If I want to start writing again, then I make it happen for myself. No one is going to enforce, encourage or coddle me in my decisions these days.

And I’m so grateful. Scared out of my mind, but grateful.