Well, it’s official.

PreK might just kill me.

We went to parent orientation today and he starts on Monday.

It all feels so vulnerable.

I want him to start. He’s ready to learn and the engagement will be good for him.

But I’m apprehensive about handing him over to someone else 3 hours a day.

Plus, if we’re being totally honest, I’m nervous about my parenting being on display to others.

While we 3 parents orientated, the 3 kids played. When Caden made a shooting sound, the teacher goes, “No guns here.”

Yikes! He plays guns all the time. I never thought about that being bad.

Like I said. Vulnerable.

And humbling.

Vulnerable and humbled. Not a bad place to be.

I struggle with what I’m doing being “enough.” And I have to fight to not be jealous of those doing what I consider “big things” for God.

What’s a big thing? Things like getting a degree in theology. Or serving overseas. Or adopting.

But then I have a day like today when I feel weak and helpless. On the verge of tears over my child going to school. And nervous about changing roles and being evaluated as a parent. And it feels like more than enough. Too much. Of course it’s too much. On my own strength. But like our pastor reminded us on Sunday, He is faithful.

He’ll be faithful with my baby at school.

He’ll be faithful with my heart.

He’ll be faithful in parenting me as I keep learning to parent my boys.

Man, was I proud of him as I watched him practice lining up on the wall and figuring out where he’ll hang his backpack.

He was so proud, too.

He’s such a sweet boy.

And he’s ready.

I’m ready, too.

Most of the time.

And I know He’ll hold me when I’m struggling.

Because He’s good.

And so is moving on to the next stage when it’s right.