Hello there!  I’m sorry it’s been so long.  No excuses, we’ll just move on.

We have a new home!  I told you we were set to close on one a while back.  That week, everything started falling apart.  Just crumbling at our feet.  So we looked at each other and agreed we’d cut our losses and walk away if that’s what God wanted.  The crucial point was when I faced some of my people pleasing fears and called our realtor, telling her our thoughts.  It was hard, but it almost felt like a test for me.

The next week, everything started falling into place.  The original loan came through at an amazing interest rate; the amount due at closing was over a thousand less than we thought; we would close and be able to start slowly moving in over several days so that things like the kitchen would be set up when we were officially in; that weekend was Veterans Day when my dad could come and Dan had off making the transition much smoother.  And then there were our amazing friends who all stepped up to help.  We couldn’t be more blessed.

And even after all that, I sometimes find myself choosing to worry over provision.  Now that we have this house, what if something happens?  Thankfully, in my study this week I’ve been revisiting the manna from heaven that God sent the Israelites in the wilderness.  He is our daily bread (John 6:35).  Don’t worry about tomorrow (Matt 6:34).  Plenty for today.  Obey and don’t try to hoard or it’ll spoil (Ex 16:20).  Grace according to need.  New mercies every morning (Lam 3:23).  We go from strength to strength (Ps 84:7).

Of course, the manna is there.  But we must gather it.  That was the concluding point in today’s lesson; our part of the equation.  Reminded me of a sermon from a couple weeks ago our pastor gave about training.  It’s been haunting me.  The premise was we are saved by grace through faith; but we grow in Christlikeness through training.  And when we try to switch those around, we become self-righteous or disillusioned.  Self-righteous when we try to somehow earn our favor with God.  And disillusioned when we think that grace is all we need to grow.

We are part of a training center at our church, I’ve told you.  One of my favorite parts is the personal assessments that are done.  From those, a covenant is made on growth points throughout the year.  Love it, love it.  Until it comes down to actually stepping out on some of those growth points for myself.  I have found I’m very tentative.  And I dislike that because I never used to be tentative on these sorts of things.  I have a very difficult time balancing not putting too much on my plate – both relationally and schedule-wise – so that I’m not harming my family…and being so fearful of taking on too much and wanting all that I take on to be done perfectly that I don’t take on any new thing.

But today’s lesson reminded me, once again, that growing requires me stepping out.  To not hide behind my role as wife and mom.  Fulfill it with excellence and keeping a steady eye on the pulse of my family?  Yes.  Hiding behind the role?  No.

So with much fear and trepidation I will be stepping out in faith.  It’s good to be out on a limb with Him, no?