School’s out! 

Hooray!

And, whoa. 

It’s both good and hard.

There are some ways in which I’m very spontaneous.  But I do love our school year routine. 

Fortunately, Caden made some good buddies at preschool this year who live in our area, so we’ll be having plenty of close-by, very-mommy-needed play dates.  We all tend to do better when we’re not sitting in the house all day.  That was a large understatement.

Also.  Dan has taught a 4-H camp the past several summers and this year Caden is old enough to go with him!  Everyone is very stoked.  Except little brother. Who will feel very left out.  Sad face.

I will start teaching one senior class a week at the YMCA in June.  That means we get to go to the pool and water parks this year!!  So much fun.  Dan can also have accountability and work out at the same time with friends.  It will be good for everyone. 

Dan always has lots of plans for around the house.  This summer it’s building a pergola.  Whoa.  Fortunately, his stepdad is a fabulous carpenter and can help us out.  Still.  Big project.

And of course there will be plenty of time with grandparents and cousins!  Ah, summer love.

I was thinking about personalities this morning as I set up an obstacle course for my seniors at the gym.  I think most people who know me know I’m a fan of Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator.  (That was also a large understatement.)  But I don’t know how many people I’ve told why I love it so much.  So here goes.

One of the things that delights me is that there are multiple (16) general types that can come out of it, but each type is so nuanced in itself.  For example.  My letters indicate that I am, in fact, an extravert.  Actually, what MBTI experts say is, “your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.”  So far, so good.  Yes.  I find myself so energized by people.  And I’m very aware of what’s around me.  But not the way that sounds.  Not as in: the colors of a room, what that person is wearing, if the floor is clean, or how far apart your furniture should be arranged.  I’m not focused on what I can see with my five senses. 

I am aware of other things.  How that person is feeling.  Who is in conflict with whom.  Power struggles.  Or, not struggles.  Just…how power is distributed in a particular situation.  I live in a world of ideas.  I have other Intuitive friends who say they see colors around people.  Don’t write me (them) off!  This is for reals, yo.  One friend of mine is one of the most intuitive people I’ve ever met.  And though she doesn’t walk with Jesus, I have seen God use the gift He’s given her to build others (me) up and, in turn, received glory. 

I’ve chatted with wise people about differences between natural abilities, acquired skills, and spiritual gifts.  Won’t go into that here.  Just know I realize all those things exist and work together.

Anyway, the experts say my “secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.” 

Know how I read that? 

My feelings are very introverted. 

Especially the most deeply-held ones.

I require a lot of time alone with my feelings to sort them through.  And most of them are projected internally, too.  I don’t often find myself raging mad at others and project deep feelings onto them.  I more often find myself taking them on; pulling them into my heart and being sad.

I hope this doesn’t sound like bragging.  Oh, Father, please no.  Just explanation.  Just some things that may come out better if I write them than try to say them.

For example.  I absolutely hate crying in public.  I used to think this was just pride, but now I am starting to see how it’s just very personal.  In fact, I like crying with someone I love.  Even ugly crying.  But usually my weeping is reserved for Him.  His lap and kind touch.  It’s just introverted.

I remember hearing Beth Moore teach on Revelation 2:17b: “To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna.  I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.”  (emphasis mine)

She said, “You don’t get to know.  Because you weren’t there.  I don’t get to know yours.  Because I wasn’t there.  Some of what we go through with Jesus is entirely personal.  You don’t get to know.”

All of this is to say: I love people and get energy from them.  But I don’t always share my innermost feelings.  Especially if I have a sense they won’t deal with them wisely or compassionately.  They don’t get to know.

A kind person asked me once what my definition of a safe person was.  I didn’t even have to think.  I go, “Someone who won’t take something they know about me and use it against me.”

Safety.  Not a right.  And not always a possibility.  Except with our God.  He is perfectly safe.  According to my definition.  Praise Him, He’s also extremely untamable. 

“There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides on the heavens to help you and on the clouds in His majesty.”  (Deuteronomy 33:26)

Oh, thank You, God.  Thank You.