“In the first 12 verses of Matthew 7, he deals with the deadly way in which we try to ‘manage’ or control those closest to us by blaming and condemning them, and by forcing upon them our ‘wonderful solutions’ for their problems.

This almost universal human practice is the subject of verses 1-6, and after his brief but incisive treatment of it, [Jesus] then shows us a truly effective and gracious way of caring for and helping the people we love in verses 7-12.  It is the way of the request, of asking which naturally progresses into kingdom praying.  It is a way that actually works, because it draws people into the kingdom rather than into the web of our devices and plans for them.  It creates the community of prayerful love.

We recall, as we approach these passages, that we have already [in the order of the Sermon on the Mount] laid aside anger and contempt, cultivation of lusting, verbal manipulation, payback and getting even, along with the burdens and anxieties of ‘looking good’ and securing ourselves through wealth.

If we are still dominated by anger, contempt, and lusting…the tender areas into which Jesus now moves will simply be incomprehensible.  We must start at the point Jesus himself chose – the nature of true well-being or ‘blessedness’…

Of course we already know that the positive characterization of the kingdom attitude is agape love…but this love is an inexhaustible subject, and now Jesus gives a further look at it…

In verses 1-11 agape love has been concretely illustrated in three ways:

1.  Not condemning or blaming those around us
2.  Not forcing ‘wonderful things’ upon them
3.  Just asking for what we want from them – and from God

If we would really help those close to us and dear, and if we would learn to live together with our family and ‘neighbors’ in the power of the kingdom, we must abandon the deeply rooted human practice of condemning and blaming.  This is what Jesus means when he says, ‘Judge not.’

But we at least need the choice of giving others a good dose of blame and condemnation when it seems appropriate, don’t we?  We have great confidence in the power of condemnation to ‘straighten others out.’  And if that fails, should we not at least make clear that we are on the side of the right?

But what is it, exactly, that we do when we condemn someone? 

He or she is not acceptable.  We sentence that person to exclusion.

Paul wrote to the Galatians, ‘Brothers, if someone really is caught in a sin, the spiritual ones among you are the ones to restore him.  Do it in a lowly and non-presumptuous spirit, considering yourselves, lest you too be put to the test.  Feel the weight others are feeling, and thus you will fulfill Christ’s teachings’ (6:1).

The wisdom that comes from Jesus to us through these words of Paul is astonishingly rich.  First, we don’t undertake to correct unless we are absolutely sure of the sin.  Here the language of 1 Corinthians 13 comes into play: love ‘believes all things, hopes all things.’  If there is any lack of clarity about whether the sin occurred, assume it did not.  At least don’t start correcting.

Second, not just anyone is to correct others.  Correction is reserved for those who live and work in a divine power not their own.  For that power is also wise, and it is loving beyond anything we will ever be.  These are the ‘spiritual ones’ referred to.  Only a certain kind of life puts us in the position to ‘correct.’

Third, the ‘correcting’ to be done is not a matter of ‘straightening them out.’  It is not a matter of hammering on their wrongness and on what is going to happen to them if they don’t change their ways.  It is a matter of restoration.  The aim in dealing with the one ‘caught’ is to bring them back on the path of Jesus and to establish them there so their progress in kingdom character and living can continue.  Nothing is to be done that is not useful to this specific end.

Fourth, the ones who are restoring others must go about their work with the sure knowledge that they could very well do the same thing that the person ‘caught’ has done, or even worse.  This totally removes any sense of self-righteousness or superiority, which, if it is present, will certainly make restoration impossible.  To aid in this direction, the restorers are to endeavor to feel the weight, the ‘burden,’ that the one being restored feels as he or she stands trapped in the sin.”

Dallas Willard, “The Divine Conspiracy” pgs. 216-219