I feel the pull again.

To continue on with the Simplicity series.

I wish you knew what a struggle I feel with this pull.

Different words and phrases swirl in my brain.

And, at the same time, I am so painfully aware of my sinful heart.  My hypocrisies.  My selfish pride. 

Plus, I fear being seen as having my act together.  Nothing makes me want to head for the hills more than others thinking I have my act together and expecting me to live up to a certain standard.

And.  It could come across as an attack.  On the status quo.  On my community.  On what I see God doing and stirring in His Bride right now.

And nothing could be further from my heart.

I’ve recently flipped out about something God has called me to do.  One of the things that has brought me peace is what our pastor says regularly:

Be faithful.

If I am faithful to what He’s asked me to do, He will take care of the rest.

Another thing? 

Train yourself to be godly.

No, I don’t have to try really hard.  He’s not asking that of me.  He wants me to train to be more like Him. 

Such foundational truths I’ve learned from some cool people the last several years.

All these thoughts were in my head last night, and my sweet husband recognized that far-off look in my eyes.

After he got out what was troubling me, he wisely said, “If blogging is going to cause you such distress, maybe you shouldn’t do it.”

So, there you go. 

We will see.  I’m going to be begging God for direction on continuing on with lessons.  Or to put it all away.

Either way, would you pray for me?