God and I seem to work well when I’m in action.  Or maybe it’s just obedience that He blesses (yes).  Either way, as I’m just doing the thang, He is speaking to me. 

But not without some “hiccups.”

First, our microwave is broken.  Bleh.  While we could go buy a new one, it’s not a super convenient time with some upcoming expenses.  And besides, didn’t I want this to pinch?  Smile.  So this makes my morning oatmeal a bit of a challenge.  And reheating coffee.  It’s not even hard – just do it on the stovetop.  But since it’s inconvenient – and I can quickly get addicted to convenience – it’s a stretch for me.  I told my Fall Avoidance class next thing they know I’ll be down at the river washing our clothes.

Second, one of my girls called this morning asking what she could do to help.  I told her to make sure to ask if I’m getting too legalistic in my heart with this. 

She goes, “Are you worried more about being legalistic in this or in cheating?”

(Don’t you love how a well-timed question can often do so much more than a litany of advice?)

I thought for a bit and realized it’s the second.  I told her that since I’m in a season with not much parenting help, I start to feel like I deserve things.  Dan’s been gone all day and has class tonight.  I deserve to not cook and eat out instead.

Is that sometimes a wonderful thing?  To eat out when you’ve had a long parenting day?  Of course.  But you know how you can know something in your heart?  I know right now I need to be obeying in this.

And finally, some wisdom from my man on his way out the door:  “Remember, don’t completely overhaul everything.  You’ll make everyone, and yourself, crazy.  We’re just trying to create some new habits.”

Man, he knows me so well.

(I think living with an all-or-stinking-nothing person for almost 12 years has qualified him for some sort of medal.)

But anyway, I should tell you something about me: I’m not a big fan of behavior modification.  I know that it is necessary.  I understand the psychology behind it.  But I’m a much bigger fan of talking through what’s behind behavior and understanding people’s motives.

About a month ago I was at a training for work at our gym.  (We have to do 15 Continuing Education credits every two years to stay certified.)  The trainer was a-mazing.  She was talking about her work in coaching and holistic health and totally had me.  Then she goes, “And, folks, the bottom line is we’re in the business of behavior modification.”

Something died inside me.

Okay, not really. 

But it is hard for me to feel like the main thing I’m doing is habit training.  But God’s been working on this area.  Showing me some balance.  How that’s a good thing.  And our pastor is so great at reminding us faithfulness in daily tasks is worship to Him. 

Last week he said, “When God is first in our lives, every single thing we do has meaning.”

Thank You, Jesus.

Parenting and homemaking has taught me this, too.  And I read this interesting book about daily life being worship before God in the repetition. 

Even just walking outside this morning checking on the growing garden with my boy is worship.

So it is okay with me if this spending fast turns into new habit formation.  That’s where the rubber meets the road on what we say we believe anyway.

Okay, there’s more. 

God is so….smart. 

This morning I was ready for Isaiah 58 in my daily reading.  Isaiah 58.  About true fasting.

Let’s hear verses 6-12 in the Message version:

This is the kind of fast day I’m after:

To break the chains of injustice,

Get rid of exploitation in the workplace,

Free the oppressed,

Cancel debts.

What I’m interested in seeing you do is:

Sharing your food with the hungry,

Inviting the homeless poor into your homes,

Putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,

Being available to your own families…

If you get rid of unfair practices,
    quit blaming victims,
    quit gossiping about other people’s sins,

If you are generous with the hungry
    and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,

Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness,
    your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.

I will always show you where to go.
    I’ll give you a full life in the emptiest of places—
    firm muscles, strong bones.

You’ll be like a well-watered garden,
    a gurgling spring that never runs dry.”



Here’s the thing He won’t let me get away from:  Loving the King means loving the Kingdom. 

I cannot get away from the idea of joining Him where He is at work.

Of advancing the Kingdom.

Of allowing the new heart He forms in His people to get out there and be a shining beacon in much, much darkness.


But this is coming from someone who – in my flesh – can rush around trying to anxiously please if I feel someone is demanding certain behavior or punishment is at stake.


But “there is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”  (1 John 4:18)


So I need to be careful with my heart.  And maybe your heart, too.  You, reading this. 


So we’ll just have to remember this about it all:

It’s about Him. 

We align with Him. 

We seek to obey Someone Who can never love us more or less than He does right this minute as we stand covered in the blood of the Spotless Lamb.


It really is such freedom. 


Let’s stay in this place.