Inside Out has been staring at me all week.
Mostly because I don’t want to deal with it.
The funny thing is, I know that when I name some of these things, it’s not as if God expects me to suddenly be healed of them. He is so so patient. And becoming more like Christ is a process.
But it still intimidates me. Especially because I’ve committed to being “out there” with stuff He’s teaching me.
Here comes a few more quotes:
“When God created human beings, He made us male and female. No one is merely a person…Everything a man does, he does as a man. Everything a woman does, she does as a woman.
When we’re properly related to God and functioning according to His design, we live with a rich enjoyment of our sexual identity…
Men were designed to enter their worlds strongly, providing for their families, leading them (through servanthood) toward God, moving toward others with sacrificing, powerful love.
Women were designed to courageously give all they have (intellect, talents, wisdom, kindness, etc.) to others in warm vulnerability…wrapping themselves in supportive strength around those with whom they relate, offering all they are as female image-bearers for a godly purpose…
When Adam and Eve fell into sin, they lost the opportunity to fully enjoy all they were as male and female.
For Adam, working now meant a battle with weeds and thorns, a battle he wasn’t able to fully overcome. He became threatened as a man, as a person designed to productively enter his world on behalf of another.
Eve could no longer count on Adam to respond to her with love. The support and vulnerability through which she’d expressed her womanliness now endangered her. She had to become tough and hard in order to handle the reality that Adam was no longer a perfect partner. She became threatened as a woman, as a person who finds joy in accepting and embracing others but who now feels compelled to defensively control her relationships.” (pgs 208, 209)
Oh boy. There’s so much here. The first thing that strikes me is what God has been relentlessly showing me over the past several years: “She had to become tough and hard…”
While that is a natural reaction to the Fall, as someone being redeemed into His image, it doesn’t have to be my response. He is showing me that there is a way to be productive and confident that doesn’t make others feel used, defensive, or threatened.
More than that, there is a way to accept and embrace others without defensive control regardless of their response. I can do that because He is Love and He’s always right there being my Defender. I can let go. I don’t have to control. Even if that makes me vulnerable and threatened, His Spirit in me can help me rest in confidence.
Last night, Caleb was tired and crabby. Then something didn’t go the way he wanted and on the drive home he cried hard. He kept saying, “I can’t calm down. I can’t calm down.”
Finally, as we pulled into the driveway, he goes:
“Mama. When we get out of the car, can you please help me calm down?”
It totally melted my heart. We need each other. But it is very hard to move toward each other when we’re on the defense. He is not letting me off the hook here. I’m grateful for my boy reminding me the vulnerable way to promote community.
If self-protection is a sin, then resting in God-protection is repentance.
Father, can you please help me learn this in increasing measure? I want to trust You.