I’ve been trying to figure out some things lately about my youngest.

 

What does it look like to love him well?

 

After my class today at the Y, he melted down.  We talked through a few things like getting a snack at home and water in the car.

 

Didn’t seem to help much.

 

So finally I did the walk-away trick a la Kevin Leman.

 

You know, the whole smile at everyone staring and keep moving forward.

 

Fortunately it worked.  (There’s nothing worse than publicly losing a stand-off with a preschooler.)

 

He came running after me and reached up.

 

I gladly scooped him up and held him as we walked to the car.  I asked him if he was okay and if anything happened.

 

No, nothing.

 

On the drive home he said, “A boy said shut up to another boy.  And that’s a bad word.”

 

Oh.

 

“Did that hurt your feelings?”

 

“No, but that’s a bad word.”

 

I’m always surprised what will affect my boys.  The last thing I feel led to do is completely shield them from things.  So we talked.  We played a board game this afternoon.  We will pray and discuss what to do with BIG feelings and the things we can and cannot control (like, anything anyone else does).

 

In the meantime, I’ll be looking into my own heart.  Like how I often quip shut up to my friends in fun.  Or how I’ll take out frustration on others (my way to throw a fit) versus talking through how I’m feeling with Him and safe people.

 

Raising kids more often than not means raising myself.

 

And while I cannot do it without His help and community, I am satisfied knowing He will help us one day at a time in this journey.