Well, at this point I am writing completely out of obedience.

I do not feel inspired.  I don’t want to be open with people.

I truly want to take a 3 month nap.

I don’t know much, but I know He is faithful.  I know I need to do the next right thing.  Today, aside from a couple of classes and parenting and all the dishes, that means some details for the outreach, prepping Hosea chapter 9 for group tomorrow, and writing because I said I would and, darn it all, I think He wants me to.

If I could sum up the experiential lessons from the past few weeks they would be from Inside Out:

1.  Self protection is sin.  And repentance is setting down my defensive style of relating and trusting Him

2.  Nothing will bring me more pain than choosing to live life honestly (I so wanna perform right now.  Or run away.  Or both.)

3.  The above is hard but I am not the only one who struggles with it.  But I will share it because if I don’t I feel like I’m gonna explode.

I honestly wish He would let me write some nice blog posts and then let me off the hook in actually living them out.

That does not seem to be the way He says this thing is gonna go down.

So.  In order to stave off hibernation mode, I will be writing.  It will not be good.  But I will process, delete, re-write and share.  Because until I know what to do next, I will do the next thing.

Ever been here?