“I was very much afraid, but I said to the king, ‘May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my fathers are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?’
The king said to me, ‘What is it you want?’
Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king, “If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried so that I can rebuild it.'”
Nehemiah 2:2b-5
Last time we were allowed a glimpse into Nehemiah’s sadness of heart. Urged on by the king’s curiosity, today we get to see Nehemiah’s explanation.
“I was utterly, increasingly, violently afraid. But I said to the king, ‘Why not be afflicted when the graves of my fathers are decaying in their city and the gates are eaten by fire?’
The king asked, ‘So what do you want?’
Then I prayed to Elohim, Creator God of Heaven, and answered, ‘If it pleases you and I’ve been a faithful servant before your face, let me go, dispatch me to the city that I may rebuild it.”
The Hebrew is intense for Nehemiah’s fear. Very is two separate words – one meaning to mulitply and one for intensity. And, honestly, haven’t we all been there? When we have several months, like Nehemiah did, to think over how we will go about following through with something, the anxiety can tend to increase. Multiply in intensity.
Although it is clear our leader was held in high esteem by the king, it wasn’t a guarantee that his response to Nehemiah’s bold request would be well received. Truthfully the king could do whatever he wanted with his subjects, including releasing him from service or putting him to death. And as we’ll see later, Nehemiah wasn’t simply asking for a leave of absence. He was requesting the king’s blessing with provisions.
This is a big ask. No wonder his fear heaped up over the months.
But when the king gave him permission to make his request, Nehemiah did the right thing: prayed to Elohim, the Creator God who made everything, including the powerful monarch before him.
Friends, I think this is where we will get our much-needed courage during our tenure here. Our fears can multiply, but we can still show up, be honest, pray one last time, then boldly request. Whether it is before a powerful king or in prayer against principalities & powers that seek to destroy the image of Creator God in others.
Or both.
But as we prayerfully and wisely consider how to both honor and stand up for others in the same breath, let’s keep in mind the One Who bowed before the Most Powerful King. Who was very much afraid, confessed honestly, and made His bold request. Then bowed down to the will of that King.
And because He ultimately bowed, we who believe in Him can follow suit, never needing to fear our ultimate future.