Always danger.  I feel it after every blog post.  The other side of the equation that wasn’t mentioned.

If posts from yesterday leave you with the impression that my life is perfect or ideal, I should delete them. 

If you think my marriage is perfect or the boundaries we set and try to maintain within it are perfect…whoops.  Anyone close to us could tell you that isn’t true. 

If you think my community is perfect or the way I behave within that community is always ideal…whoops.  (Guys, you know I think you’re perfect!)

I heard someone say something once along these lines:

“When people tell me I’m too showy in my love for God, I just want to tell them, ‘If you only knew what He and I have been through to get to this point…'”

If you only knew.

Good phrase. 

If you only knew the hard, hard work Dan & I have done separately and together in our marriage just to make it stable…not perfect.

If you only knew the hard lessons and field trips God has taken me on to learn to trust people enough in community to give not just performance or what I think is expected, but what they and I need.

If you only knew how hard it is for me still to do that.  Particularly with people outside of my little trust circle.

If you only knew how deep my selfishness and pride run – and how dependent on Him I am each day just to look outside myself.

If you only knew how I wish I could make up for past mistakes.

We’re not supposed to know each other’s everything.  Only a few heart friends can handle some of the things…and the rest only the Most High God can handle.  He is never repelled by our deep, cavernous need.

So, no.  Not perfect over here in our little corner. 

But so, so grateful.